


Changes

by chothocolate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Jily- side pairing, M/M, MWPP, Marauders' Era, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Smoking, Some angst, Werewolf McSwearwolf, cute bois, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-10-20 06:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chothocolate/pseuds/chothocolate
Summary: Sixth year brought about a lot of changes for the Marauders.Remus comes back hot.Sirius comes back gay.Peter comes back uncomfortable.And James comes back with a plan.





	1. Growth Spurts and Explosions

The year was 1976 and platform 9 ¾ was filled with muggleborns in bell bottoms and turtleneck sweaters; pureblood families swarmed together, clad in robes of every colour imaginable. The platform was buzzing with the rushed voices of anxious parents, the unimpressed groans of embarrassed seventh years, and excited mutters from Hogwarts students new and old as they boarded the Hogwarts Express.  Remus sighed, watching more and more students appear from the wall and onto the platform. Tearing his eyes away from the technicolour chaos of the platform, he turned back to his book - To Kill a Mockingbird. Remus had grown increasingly fond of muggle literature over the summer break. Eyes scanning over the page, he smirked, recalling what could only be described as an eventful summer.

 

“Bullshit, James, bullshit I tell you,” Remus looked up from his book to see James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black bustling into the carriage, arguing about something as usual. Sirius’ hair had grown a few inches over the summer break and now fell like a wavy waterfall, framing his face perfectly. His face was plastered in his classic smirk, which Remus knew to be bravado and bullshit. The boy wiped his hands on the Rolling Stones shirt Remus had sent him over the summer, Sirius had barely taken it off for the whole break; wearing it in rebellion against his parents. 

Every single one of the boys had changed. Peter's previously long, shaggy hair had been cut, and the boy now sported a slightly messy was-probably-once-neat side combed style that Remus could tell Peter had put a lot of effort into, only to have it inevitably ruined by his rowdy friends. He had also grown, and while he was still the shortest in the group, he was definitely taller that the arguably dwarfish boy he had been known to be in previous years.

James' change was one of the most noticeable. His dark skin had tanned even more after a summer of running around the grounds of the Potter house; his once medium length messy hair now formed a shorter, still devastatingly messy crown of unruly curls on his head. He had grown, standing somewhere around six feet tall, and dwarfing the far shorter Sirius and Peter stood next to him.

“Sirius would you just admit it already, we all saw you fall when you got on the train,” James laughed, watching Sirius’ expression turn into a fake scowl. “Moony! How are you?”

 

“I’m good James,” he laughed, watching Sirius’ scowl drop as soon as he stood up to hug his friends in greeting. All three boys looked at Remus as if he had grown a third head, their mouths forming an ‘o’ shape as they looked at the boy. “Is there something on my face?” Remus asked, wiping his face vigorously while the boys continued to stare. He raised an eyebrow when none of them reacted, waiting for an explanation.

 

“Moony you-” Sirius was the first to speak, hesitating before finishing his sentence, “you got hot! Bloody hell!” On this, James and Peter were shaken out of their stupor, laughing at the tactless approach of their friend.

 

“I think what Sirius means is that you look… different. I mean what the bloody hell Remus you’re taller than me now.” James laughed, wincing slightly as Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. Remus flushed slightly, he had grown a lot over the summer break, but hot? 

“Shut up and sit down,” he chuckled, Sirius was still watching his every move like a hawk, “Sirius the trains about to go if you keep staring at me like that you’re going to fall.” Remus watched as Sirius’ face relaxed into a smirk as he moved over to sit next to Remus.

  
  


Remus sighed, there was only so much of James and Sirius’ quidditch talk he could take before he reached his limit. What was worse, Sirius was really making an effort to move closer and closer to the taller boy, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly flustered by it. By the time the train had been going for an hour, Sirius was leant against Remus, their knees and thighs touching under the table. 

The feeling of another body against his own made his mind wander back to the summer, to drinking muggle alcohol and smoking muggle cigarettes in a small beachside town on holiday with his family. To unfamiliar lips and skin and hands and-

“So what did you do over the summer Moony?” Remus’ head snapped back from the window and he became aware of the three sets of eyes watching him and the three sets of ears waiting to hear his response. Blood began to rush to his cheeks and his face heated up.

“Oh y’know... nothing much,” James’ eyebrow raised for a moment as he made eye contact with Sirius. The interaction was so quick Remus questioned whether or not he had actually seen it.  _ Nothing much? Is that the best you've got?  _ Remus mentally slapped himself in the face for his pathetic excuse before fishing into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. The other boys continued to watch his every move, inviting him to share the events of his summer. Instead, he pushed open the window, lighting one and bringing it to his lips, pretending not to notice the looks he was receiving from his friends. He sighed, before taking another drag and turning to his friends, who once again were looking at him incredulously.

“Bloody hell Remus you’re just full of surprises aren’t you?”

 

* * *

 

The entire journey continued in the same way, the constant back and forth between James and Sirius escalated until the boys were on top of each other, wrestling. Peter and Remus sat, watching their two friends as they fought, weighed down by chocolate frogs and an array of candy and chocolate so vast it was a wonder the two boys were able to finish it. Remus liked Peter, the quieter boy idolised James and was often just seen as his shadow, but to Remus, his personality really shone through, and he began to notice the little quirks and personality traits Peter possessed.

He smiled, looking around at his friends, Peter sat opposite him, a smear of chocolate on his cheek and James and Sirius still barking at each other over something trivial. 

But his eyes lingered on Sirius for a moment longer as he really took in every aspect of the boy’s appearance; his hair had grown, making him look so much more grown up, he was no taller but was slightly more... Muscular. His face had changed the most, his jaw and cheekbones were far more defined and his eyes were the same piercing grey as they were before, but there was something different in them. Sirius looked almost... Sad. Remus frowned, hating to see his friend in any pain. He knew Sirius had a tough home life, but the boy often refused to talk about it bloody stubborn Sirius, he thought, frowning deeper and reaching for another cigarette. 

He reached up to open the window of the carriage once more, glancing over at Sirius again only to have his gaze met by Sirius’ intense stare. 

“Remus, why do you do that?” Sirius asked, frowning and watching Remus’ actions as he lit another cigarette and brought it to his lips, damn those lips Sirius thought, watching as Remus took a drag before raising an eyebrow.

“Do what?” He asked, blowing out smoke, James was still pestering Sirius, poking him in a futile attempt to gather his attentions, but his arguments were falling on deaf ears, Sirius’ full attention was on Remus.

“Smoking. I heard that it’s a muggle thing and that it’s really bad for you and - OW FUCK JAMES!!” Sirius leapt back and his face paled and contorted in a mix of rage and fear, the three boys looked at him, confused by his sudden outburst. Sirius’ hand flew to his ribs where James had elbowed him, he coughed violently, his whole body shaking as his eyes pricked with tears from the intensity of it. Remus, James and Peter all looked at him, eyes wide with concern, James looked on the verge of tears, both from seeing his friend in pain and from thinking he was the cause of it. Sirius continued coughing until his whole body slumped against the chair, he looked back at his friends with a resigned look on his face, clearly exhausted from coughing and still seething with rage.

“Bloody fuck, sorry about that lads,” Sirius smirked, trying to divert attention away from his coughing fit. “I’m alright now.”

“What the fuck just happened there Sirius?!” James broke the lingering silence following Sirius' weak attempt at a coverup, concern etched on his face.

Sirius gave him a grim smile, suddenly aware of the set of amber eyes staring at him piercingly. He looked up at Remus and watched the boy with the cigarette hanging from his lips, sad eyes watching him intently; he sighed, slumping his head back down on the seat, frowning.

“My bloody parents,” he mumbled, all three boys immediately understood, leaning in to listen. “They’re so fucking - they kicked me out okay?” 

Sirius scowled, tearing a chocolate frog wrapper to shreds in his hands, he could feel the sympathetic looks he was receiving from all angles.

“I don’t want your bloody sympathy though, I’m fine. It’s just - it’s fucking stupid. They burned my name off the fucking tapestry! I shouldn’t care, I hate them! I just-” Sirius ran his hands through his hair agitatedly, “I fucking hate the way they talk, they spend all their bloody time ranting about muggle-borns and half-bloods and - ah fuck it. They found out.” Remus and James glanced at each other, matching in their confused expressions as they glanced back at Sirius.

“They found out… what exactly?” Remus said slowly. 

Sirius sighed again, putting his face in his hands. “They found out I’m… a poufter.” Remus frowned, Sirius’ words had been muffled, surely he didn’t just say he was..? No sooner had James breathed out a “what?” before Sirius exploded, jumping up from his seat. “They found out I’m gay okay? That I’m a bloody shirt lifter, a fag, a homo-fucking-sexual! Was that clear enough or do I need to fucking spell it out?!”

All four boys looked at each other in shock, James, Remus and Peter were all taken aback by Sirius’ outburst, aching to be able to do something to support their friend, they all knew how explosive Sirius’ temper could be, and it was evident that this was a touchy subject for him. 

"Fuck," Sirius brought his hand up to his mouth in shock, the rage dissipating from his body as the realisation of what he had done sunk in. He had told them. He had told them that he was gay, he had told them that he was kicked out; a grim chuckle slipped from his lips as he looked towards shell-shocked friends.

 

“What a way to start the year am I right?” Sirius slumped back down onto his seat and grinned, the smile not reaching his eyes. The expression on his friends faces changed, swapping from confusion to sadness to sympathy to rage. Peter looked at him, chewing on his lip nervously, a mix of confusion and sadness plastered onto his face; James glowered at his own hands, muttering profanities under his breath, Sirius had preempted James’ reaction to this. He knew the boy had a temper almost as bad as his own, it just took the right thing to set him off.

But it was Remus’ reaction that really broke his heart, the boy was watching him, tears pooling in his eyes after the boy’s outburst. Remus was always the composed one, the one who was ready to comfort you no matter what; Sirius sighed, looking down at his hands, unable to watch his friend’s pained expression for much longer. 

 

The silence was almost deafening, his friends continued to watch his every movement and Sirius grew more and more agitated, when are they going to say something, his leg began to bounce as he grew more restless still. The three boys still continued to look at him, seconds feeling like hours; he knew none of them knew how to react, he knew it was like treading on eggshells when he was angry but fuck, he wanted them to say something,  _ anything. _

“You don’t actually think we care that you're gay right?” His eyes snapped up and met Remus’, the tired and almost unimpressed face of composure had returned to the boy’s face, making Sirius wonder if he had ever even seen the vulnerability in his eyes moments before. Sirius frowned, he knew Remus’ behaviour too well, the boy would close up at any sign of vulnerability; he knew how Remus would put his own feelings on the sidelines if it meant making someone else feel better. And more than anything he knew how much it affected Remus to see him sad or angry or hurt. He frowned, watching as the other two boys nodded in agreement, affirming Remus’ statement, Sirius reached out, grabbing another chocolate frog wrapper and beginning to tear it. He sighed, looking back up at his friends and smiling in relief.

“Thank bloody Merlin, I’m not used to people being fine with it you know? What with my family and everything, I mean they were hardly-”

“But wait where the fuck did you go?” the confusion on James’ face was priceless, “I mean unless they disowned you like thirty minutes ago you can't have had anywhere to go!” The frown on James's face grew as realisation set in,  “Sirius what did you do?!”

Sirius laughed, James Potter the Mum Friend was back and the atmosphere had almost returned to normal. Almost. He laughed at the incredulous looks his friends were giving him.

“Muggle London,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the excitement he felt about his adventures over the summer.

“Muggle bloody London? And you didn't come to stay with us you just stayed in muggle London?” James’ steely-eyed stare would have almost been intimidating if the excitement behind it wasn't so evident.

“Sirius Black you have a lot of explaining to do.”

 

The smile Remus gave him almost made this whole ordeal worthwhile.


	2. Cookies and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth, like Remus, is out.

“But pleeeease Moony I’m hungryyy,” Remus rolled his eyes, looking down at Sirius, who now had his head against the table, sighing dramatically. He laughed as the boy reached up at nothing, grabbing for what he would later describe to be “the last shreds of life” within him.

“Sirius, this table is covered in food, if you're hungry, take something else, but for Merlin's sake you are not having my cookie.” His response was met with only a groan and a thud as Sirius’ head fell from the table and into Remus’ lap. Remus felt himself flush slightly, trying to ignore the extremely close proximity of the other boy's head to his crotch. He laughed, taking a final bite of his cookie, ignoring the wails of pain coming from his lap as Sirius ‘died’.

The great hall echoed with hundreds of simultaneous conversations occurring all at once. The charm on the ceiling made it a midnight black, peppered with stars and constellations; candles floated above every table, lighting the room and ghosts swerved around the students, met with screams from first years and cheers from the older students. The entrance feast was a spectacle every single year, every table was laden with food, roast chicken, potatoes, pasta, and every kind of cake imaginable; lest to say, Remus was in heaven.

“Sirius mate get up you're embarrassing yourself,” James laughed from across the table, he received nothing more than a groan in response, as Sirius mourned the cookie he couldn't have. Remus laughed, reaching across the table for another chocolate chip cookie; he looked down at Sirius, whose head was still resting in his lap. Remus couldn't help but smile as his eyes scanned Sirius’ face further, the sadness in his eyes had gone and his lips were curled into a smile, even though the boy was ‘dead’. Remus smirked at the unsuspecting boy, before shoving the cookie into his mouth, laughing as Sirius froze in shock before realisation set in that there was, in fact, a delicious chocolate cookie in his mouth. 

Sirius jumped up, taking a bite of the cookie and wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck. 

“YOU'RE THE BEST THING EVER REMUS!!” Sirius smiled, cookie crumbs falling from his mouth as he planted a slobbery kiss on Remus’ cheek.

“Agh Sirius you're disgusting,” Remus laughed, his cheeks flushing slightly as he turned away from Sirius, wiping cookie crumbs and saliva from his cheek. He watched Sirius, who was happily chewing on the cookie before turning back to James and Peter.

 

Instead of James’ warm brown eyes, he was met with a cold brown pair. Ah fuck, he thought as he realised that Gideon Prewett had come to sit with him. The boy across the table smiled warmly, his blue Ravenclaw robes complimenting his dark red hair; Remus flushed slightly as Gideon’s tongue flicked over his lips, the lips he had become so familiar with. 

An elbow to his ribs pulled him out of his stupor, and Remus looked up to see James, Sirius and Peter looking at him, wearing matching expressions of confusion; but there was something more to Sirius’ expression, but Remus had no time to react or think over it as Gideon’s had met his over the table. His hand instinctively pulled back as Gideon’s thumb swept over his knuckles.

“Uhh Gid hi,” Remus stuttered, as a blush crept up his neck towards his cheeks, “So how, uh, how are you?” Gideon frowned in response, leaning closer to Remus, his brows furrowed as he searched Remus’ eyes for something. 

Remus leant back, running his hands through his hair as he glanced over to his friends, hoping the “help me” he tried to send them mentally would register. All three boys just looked at him, their eyes flitting between Remus and Gideon, faces plastered with confusion. Remus sighed, useless gits, he turned back to Gideon, sighing again while the boy continued to search his face for some kind of response.

“Look Gid, can we uh,” Remus ran his hands through his hair once more, sighing and mentally slapping himself for not preempting this, “Can we maybe talk… later? I kinda wanna just catch up with uh… everyone first y-y'know?” Remus cringed at his own lack of eloquence, he was normally so capable when it came to blagging his way out of situations, but knowing that his friends and the rest of the Gryffindor table were watching him… damaged his communication skills considerably. He looked up at Gideon, waiting for a response, he was met with a warm smile.

“Okay Rem, talk whenever yeah?” Gideon smiled and patted Remus’ hand before getting up and leaving the table, without waiting for a response.

 

“Oh mother fuck,” Remus mumbled under his breath, not willing to look back at his friends yet and witness their reactions. He sighed, banging his head against the table; his face was red with embarrassment, he should have suspected Gideon would approach him, expecting some kind of explanation - or maybe just a repeat of the past summer.

“Remus John Lupin if I didn't know better I would think Sirius wasn't the only flaming queer here,” Remus sighed, looking up in shock at his attacker; Peter had never been the type to mock him, but the amusement on the boy's face was evident. James burst into a bout of laughter so loud it sounded almost painful and Sirius choked on his cookie, frowning slightly but laughing nonetheless. Remus groaned, reaching out for another cookie but his hand was slapped out of the way.

“No cookies for Remus until we have a full explanation.” James smirked at Remus, and looked around at the rest of his friends, “What do you say we go to the dorm, eh men? It seems both Remus and Sirius owe us a story.”

 

* * *

 

 

The bed sagged slightly under the weight of all four boys; gone were the days when they could all fit onto the crimson bedspread comfortably - they had all grown, and the beds in the Gryffindor dorm hadn't grown with them. 

James and Peter sat at the head of the bed, James carried an air of authority, despite the excitement and anticipation that could be seen underneath the pretend layer of leadership. Peter looked tiny in comparison to James, not only in height (where the difference was monumental) but in attitude. Peter took up far more space than James, but his typically unassuming personality made him seem so much smaller as if he were on the back burner. But Remus knew that the boy had a fire in him, he wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for no reason. 

Sirius’ mood was very different to Remus’, his knee was bouncing with excitement as he prepared to tell the story of his endeavours in muggle London. Remus, on the other hand, was just nervous, he knew his friends wouldn't stop until they had gotten every detail out of him about the events of his summer - and he knew he would never let it down when they did. 

 

“Lads,” James sat up straighter, running his hands through his hair to mess it up further, “we are gathered here today because it seems Remus John Lupin and Sirius Orion Black are keeping secrets. And we can have that now can we?” James glanced over at Peter, who shook his head vigorously. James smirked, watching Sirius on the verge of explosion with excitement and Remus blanching in fear and anticipation. His eyes lingered on Remus for a moment longer and his mouth turned into a frown.

“Remus nothing… bad happened over your summer did it?” James asked he had never considered that maybe Remus’ summer hadn't been as good as he thought it had and that maybe the boy wouldn't want to tell them what had happened.

 

Remus’ cheeks heated up and he smiled to himself, _far from it_ , he thought to himself. 

 

“Far from it eh? That's what I like to hear!” Remus’ eyes widened as he glanced over at Sirius, realisation sinking in. He had said that aloud. _He had said that aloud_. Remus laughed, sighing to himself when he noticed the raised eyebrow he was receiving from James, the excited look he received from Sirius and the slightly confused look of trepidation coming from Peter.

“We had a family holiday,” Remus started, looking down at his hands while he recollected memories from his summer, “we went to a small beachside town on the coast of Wales, it's not actually that far from our house anyways but it was a holiday all the same.

“It's a muggle town, by the way. My parents kind of just left me to it, and I ended up meeting a group of muggle kids my age,” Remus smiled to himself, thinking of all of the friendships he made, “long story short we had parties and bonfires by the beach and then I met uh... someone while I was there.” 

“Gideon,” James said, watching Remus intently. A blush crept up his cheeks as he nodded, receiving a small gasp from Sirius beside him.

“Yeah I met Gid and we became… closer. We went out a lot and then…” Remus trailed off, hoping he wouldn't have to go into detail.

“MERLIN MOONY DID YOU BONE GIDEON PREWETT?!?!” Ever tactless Sirius struck again, Remus’ face matched the bedsheets as he hid his face in his hands, confirming what all his friends knew to be true. Cackles echoed through the dorm room and James fell off of the bed from laughing so hard; Peter blanched, looking more uncomfortable than Remus had ever seen the boy be, but still, he managed to laugh. Sirius’ laughter was slightly more understated than Remus had expected, and the boy looked slightly more irritated than entertained.

“So does this mean you're a big ol' gay too?” James asked, after finally composing himself. Remus laughed, shaking his head - there had been a few muggle girls too, but he figured Peter's head would explode if he found that out. 

  
“Well damn Sirius your story had better be good to trump Man-whore Moony over here,” Peter chuckled, earning himself a pillow to the face from Remus.


	3. Marauder's Meetings and Trouser Laws

“Was it big?” Remus sighed exasperatedly, Sirius, James and Peter were making it their duty to squeeze as much information out of Remus as possible since finding out about his endeavours with Gideon.

“You know I’m not going to answer that Sirius,” Remus sighed again, chuckling slightly; he would take this reaction any day in comparison to the disgust and horror he had anticipated.

“Yes, okay I understand but was it?” This time it was James’s turn to ask, it wasn’t the first time he had been asked it in the five minutes after telling the boys, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. 

He rolled his eyes, before nodding microscopically and muttering “huge” under his breath, sending James and Sirius on the verge of combustion with laughter. Glancing over at Peter apologetically, he noticed the boy squirm slightly; Remus cringed, Peter had a vivid and overactive imagination, and he really didn’t want to know how accurate the boy’s thoughts on the matter would be. 

 

“Heysiriusdidn’tyougointomugglelondon?” Peter’s words came out in a jumbled mess and the boy violently shook his head, as if he were trying to physically remove any thoughts of Remus from his mind. Remus smiled sympathetically at him, noticing how Sirius’ posture straightened at the mention of London; he was so easily distracted, and it seemed all thoughts of Remus and Gideon had left his mind.

 

“Wormy, I almost thought you’d never ask,” all three boys rolled their eyes in response, they all knew that Sirius was anticipation any opportunity to tell his story.

 

* * *

 

Sirius flinched as the dinner bell chimed, echoing through the house; he sighed, swinging his feet off of his bed and lifting the pin off of his record player. He glanced around at his room, the once dark coloured walls were now a vivid red, Gryffindor flags and muggle posters littered the walls and mismatched muggle clothes covered his floor. His father had hit him for the first time when Sirius had painted it, and once again when he had used a sticking charm to attach a Gryffindor flag to his door; it had always been Kreacher who was told to hurt Sirius as a punishment, but on that occasion, his father had taken the duty upon himself. Sirius scowled, turning away from the bright colours and into the dark rooms that filled Grimmauld Place. 

The stairs creaked beneath his feet as he made his way to the dining room; Sirius had taken it upon himself to prove to his parent just how much he hated their way of thinking. His rebellion had put him on the receiving end of hexes, physical attacks and threats.  They’re not turning me into their little slave, Sirius thought as he turned into the room, receiving glares from both his parents. He smirked, attempting to appear unaffected by their disapproval. Sirius hadn’t worn dress robes to dinner all summer, despite the expectation to do so. Today he was clad in a pair of black, torn skinny jeans and a Rolling Stones shirt, sent to him by Remus; he had barely taken the shirt off all summer, both in fear of it being destroyed by his parents or Kreacher, and because he loved the item of clothing so much - Remus had sent it to him after all. His mother glanced at his muggle clothing, pursing her lips and glowering at him. He simply smiled challengingly in response, swinging his feet up onto the table and reaching for a glass of wine, all eyes were on him, he noticed Regulus sigh and mutter something under his breath, shaking his head slightly.

“What was that Reg?” Sirius asked, sipping from his glass of wine. The boy shook his head in response, and Sirius knew exactly what it was he was going to say, "you make this so hard for yourself, Sirius?” or, “Why don’t you just listen to them, Sirius?”. Regulus had spent the past few weeks saying the same thing over and over, and the answer was always the same: because I don’t want to be like them. And Sirius stood by that, he would never let himself be like his parents, whatever the outcome.

Sirius ran his hands through his hair, he had begun growing it out on the first sign of objection from his mother; and he had grown to like it. As had Remus, he thought to himself, smiling slightly. Remus really had liked Sirius’ new, longer hair; and was always braiding it or running his hands through it absentmindedly. Sirius’ mind wandered to the werewolf boy, but he stopped himself, no, he knew how dangerous it was for him to like Remus, it would mess up everything, his friendship, the marauders as a group. He sighed, finishing his glass of wine and bringing his thoughts back to the table.

“Why are you wearing that muggle filth?” Orion sneered from the head of the table, both he and Walburga were watching Sirius like hawks; Sirius smirked slightly.

“What? This?” He pinched the material of the shirt, raising his eyebrows and awaiting his parents' reaction.

“Yes, Sirius that,” His mother’s temper had already spiked, her voice raising a few octaves as she glared at the garment with an intensity that could burn through the material. Sirius smiled sweetly at her, this was just the reaction he had hoped for. 

His hands secured around the hemline of the shirt as he stared deeply into his mother’s eyes challengingly, “Well, if you’d rather I took it off…” he began to lift the shirt up, and had it halfway up his torso before his hands were hit was a burning hex. He swore, quickly trying to feign his composure, trying to ignore the blisters growing on his palms; he looked up, only to see his mother smiling darkly, watching as his hands grew worse. His eyes flitted over to Regulus for a moment, noticing as the boy shook his head, sighing. Sirius shrugged, “Well I guess I’ll be keeping the muggle filth on won’t I?” he said, turning to the food that had been placed in front of him.

 

His actions at the start of the meal had set his parents off on a tirade of verbal abuse, more intense than usual. The pair cursed muggleborns, half-bloods, blood traitors before starting on homosexuals, women and any other group they could think to attack. The blame for the existence of these people was, of course, placed on Sirius in any way possible, however ridiculous. Sirius’ hand gripped around his fork so hard his knuckles had turned white, his temper was short at the best of times, but his ability to control it had improved greatly since returning to Grimmauld Place. 

“I’ve heard from the Malfoys that so many young wizards and witches are turning to homosexuality these days,” Walburga scowled at the mention, looking to her husband with a mixture of distaste and intrigue. Orion continued, “It’s those mudbloods,” he spat, “they’re tainting the bloodlines of so many good families, blood traitors the lot of them, especially those Potters, I wouldn’t be surprised for a moment if their son was-”

Sirius sprang out of his chair, cutlery clattered against the floor as he glowered at his parents, “Do. Not. Speak. About. The Potters.” He barely made out, his rage was of an intensity beyond anything he had ever felt. 

“Sirius don’t tell me you’re-” Regulus’ voice could barely be heard from across the table, the boy looked up at Sirius incredulously, horror etched on his face. Regulus never meant any harm but always made things worse; he couldn't keep his questions and curiosity to himself, which just gave his parents more to terrorise him about. Sirius laughed, throwing his head back on the verge of hysteria.

“Oh, little Reggie you have no idea. In fact, none of you do,” Sirius looked around the table to the furious faces of his parents, laughter in his voice, “Whatever would mumsie and daddy do if they’re little traitor was a queer too? In fact Reg, I could write you a list of the people I’ve sucked off, would that put it into perspective?” Sirius stopped, watching as Regulus’ face changed from horror to disgust. He flinched slightly as a curse hit him in the back, turning to see his mother shaking with rage, wand playing between her fingers. Sirius knew he should stop talking, but he was so angry it was almost funny, his back began to break out into blisters as well as his hands, the burning hex had become a favourite of his parents’. He looked into his mother’s eyes, watching flecks of rage dance in her eyes, smirking, he added, “Would it make it better or worse if they were all muggles, mumsie?”

He chuckled darkly as his mother let out a blood-curdling scream of rage. “CRUCIO,” The curse flew at him from two sides, both his mother and father pointed their wands towards him.

Everything froze. Waves of immeasurable pain curled up his spine, nothing in comparison to the burning hexes he had weathered before. A million white hot knives pierced his skin as his body slumped to the ground, screaming in pain. His eyes flicked up to Regulus’ seeking some kind of kindness behind the boy’s eyes, instead, he was met with nothing, a blank expression as the boy turned and left the room, accompanied by his parents. Sirius screamed again, the pain reached his head and fingertips and his whole body was engulfed in the burning, aching, bruising, stinging all-consuming pain. 

Sirius’ hands made contact with the ground, sending another wave of pain through his body, he gasped, as the final waves of pain left his body. His parents only cast the spell for a moment, but even still it left him drained, his entire body felt weak, and pain continued to ebb through his body as he strained his aching muscles, pulling himself off the floor. I have to escape, he thought, focusing entirely on putting one foot in front of the other.

Eventually, he was on his feet, out the door, down the street, turning through intertwining roads in unfamiliar parts of the city. One foot in front of the other, the thumping rhythm of his feet against the concrete kept him going, breaking the silence of the deserted streets. He gasped, his body achingly tired, but still, he moved forward, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

Gradually, it seemed, the streets became more and more hectic and packed. Sirius began to recognise where he was; Oxford Street was almost always packed, no matter what time of day it was. He made his way down the street, hoping to find a wizards pub somewhere so he could sleep. Sirius was exhausted. He knew the cruciatus curse would inevitably live it's victim drained, but this was of a higher intensity than he could have ever imagined. He stumbled, losing energy fast, walking took every ounce of energy out of him.

 

"Hey, are you - shit are you okay?" A warm hand grasped Sirius' shoulder, steadying him as he began to wobble with exhaustion. Sirius looked up, and was met with a pair of warm green eyes, friendliness and concern were etched on the face of probably the most interesting looking muggle he had ever seen. The man had green hair, matching his eyes perfectly and making his olive skin seem warmer. The fluorescent lights glowing from the shop fronts illuminated his face in bright blue, making him seem almost ethereal. Sirius gulped, suddenly acutely aware of all of his limbs, his wrists had a strange amount of feeling and Sirius was certain he could feel his eyelids begin to droop. He was exhausted, and this man clearly wanted to help. 

The man continued to look at him with concern, Sirius shook his head, "I'm tired. Do you uh... Is there anywhere around here I can stay?" 

"Do you have money? It's a pretty pricey area..." The man's voice was deep but smooth, and strangely calming. 

Sirius' hand moved instinctively to his pocket, "Fuck..." he had one single silver sickle in his pocket and nothing more, "I knew I forgot to- shit I didn't grab any," Sirius pulled the sickle out of his pocket, watching as the man frowned.

"Where is that even from?" He pointed towards the coin, Sirius shrugged offhandedly, "Anyways, I mean you could stay at mine if you wanted. You'd have to stay on the couch but if that's not a problem then-"

"Thank you!" Sirius interrupted, already anticipating a peaceful night's sleep, "I mean uhh... if- if that's okay then yeah. Yeah."

The man nodded, leading Sirius down the road, hand still firmly on his bicep, just in case he fell.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nice guy he was, I stayed at his for the first night and then he showed me around the place. He owned a mechanics and had a motorbike and  _ oh _ you should have seen it! Beautiful thing it was. Absolutely beautiful, made the smoothest sound and it was so fast! I wanna get one, when we leave Hogwarts, I'm gonna charm it to fly as well. 

But anyways I worked in his shop for a bit in exchange for sleeping on his couch. Though I didn't spend much time on his couch. Or much time sleeping. Remus, I really do see why you were so keen to romp around with Gideon there really is nothing quite like a nice, long -"

"Oh Merlin, Sirius not you too!" Peter squealed, covering his eyes as if to block out his mental images. "James mate, put me out of my misery, have you got any illicit gay love affairs you need to share or can we be done here?"

The three boys laughed as James shook his head vigorously, "My heart belongs to Lily, Pete, come on!"

"Peter ,for your sake, Sirius and I will keep the details of our illicit gay love affairs to ourselves shall we?" Remus laughed, watching as Peter gradually turned from a pale green colour to his neutral, slightly pink complexion.

"Yeah and the same goes for you two prudes if you ever pull," Sirius added, kicking James from across the bed.

"It's official then," Remus smirked, "What happens in your trousers stays in your trousers."

  
And with that, the Marauder's meeting dispersed.


	4. Decisions and Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a firm believer in the headcanons that:  
> a) James didn't rudely ask Lily out all the time, but just had 0 chill in front of her  
> b) Remus was a flirty drunk I refuse to be told otherwise

Remus sighed, throwing his bag down onto his bed and running his hands through his hair; it was only the first week but Arithmancy was already killing him. He blinked, suddenly aware of the silence in the room, despite Sirius and James’ presence. Narrowing his eyes, he turned only to be met with the watchful, expectant smiles of him two friends.  
“What are you planning?” Remus sighed, rolling his eyes; he knew those looks far too well, but they were usually aimed at Peter: the scapegoat of most of their plans. But this time they were directed towards him.  
“We're throwing a party,” Sirius blurted out, receiving a slap on the arm from James as the boy hissed ‘subtlety’. Remus rolled his eyes, he knew immediately what this meant; he moved over to where the two boys were sitting, raising an eyebrow and waiting for them to declare the inevitable.  
James wrung his hands in excitement, “The Ravenclaws are coming, and the Hufflepuffs, not the Slytherins. But the _Ravenclaws_ mate! They bet us a bottle of V-Vol? Uhh...”  
“Vodka,” Sirius confirmed.  
“They bet us a bottle of Vodka that they could out drink any of us! And you _know_ the Ravenclaws only make bets if they think they can win!”  
“And that's where you come in Moony!” Sirius was positively bouncing on his bed in excitement, “You can drink _anyone_ under the table, with your unfair werewolf metabolism shit. And we _have_ to prove those swotty Ravenclaws wrong, _we have to_!”  
Remus chuckled, he always enjoyed drinking games at James and Sirius’ parties; and it never failed to amuse him just how excited Sirius would get whenever he won. Frankly, it was adorable. But there was a part of him that wanted to make this slightly more… difficult. He smirked inwardly, slowly rising from his spot on Sirius’ bed.  
“No,” he deadpanned, trying not to laugh at the flabbergasted expressions of his two friends; instead, walking out of the room and into the bathroom for a shower.  
“But Mooooonyyy,” the words echoed slightly as Remus shut the bathroom door, barely managing not to burst out laughing. He knew Sirius would stop at nothing to get him to do it… and it sure would be interesting.

* * *

 

“Library later, yeah Rem? You have got to teach me that stuff from chapter four,” Lily smiled, looking up at Remus while she gathered her books. The pair had become closer and closer as the years went on, much to the annoyance of James.  
“Sure Lils, but only if you teach me chapter seven, I had no idea what that was about,” Remus and Lily’s study sessions had only become more frequent, the two both took more subjects than any of their friends had previously thought possible, and _busy_  was an understatement. Remus stood, watching as Lily forced her textbook into her bag before the two made their way out of the room.  
Instinctively, Remus scanned the hallway after leaving the classroom, his height had only given him more of an advantage in being able to scope out his friends. Lily sighed beside him, rolling her eyes; it seemed she had noticed the presence of James and Sirius at the exact same moment as Remus had. Remus couldn’t help but laugh at how James’ posture straightened as soon as he noticed Lily’s presence, strutting over to the two.  
“Hey Evans,” James smirked, feigning indifference as Lily cursed under her breath.  
“What do you want, Potter?” Lily rolled her eyes, watching as James fumbled with his bag, struggling to get everything in.  
“I was just wondering if you were - shit,” James cursed, grabbing his fallen textbook, quill and scroll, the boy found it next to impossible to keep a hold of his belongings (or his conversational skills) around Lily. “I was _wondering_ if you were coming to the party? Y’know the one on Saturday? It’s uh… we’ve spent ages getting everything ready and - I’m rambling. Are you coming?”  
Lily snorted, watching as James tripped over his words, “Yeah, I suppose I will, can hardly miss it can I?”  
James’ face broke out into an ear-splitting grin as he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up yet again. “Nice! You should wear something nice. Not that you don’t always look nice but we’re making it a big one this year and-”  
James continued to ramble on, stumbling over his words. Sirius and Remus silently backed away, leaving him to his ‘conversation’, however much of a pathetic excuse for one it was.  
“So Remus…” Sirius looked up at Remus, running his hands through his hair.  
“Yes, Sirius?” Remus bit back a laugh, he already knew what Sirius was about to ask.  
“How would you feel about being a darling and winning some drinking games for us eh?”  
“And how do you think I’m going to answer that, Sirius?”  
Sirius tapped his chin pensively, pretending to wrack his brains for the answer, “...Yes?” He asked expectantly.  
Remus couldn’t help but laugh, “No, Sirius.”

The week continued in much of the same way, with Sirius incessantly asking Remus to help him in the drinking games. Each attempt was more creative than the last, what had initially begun as small gestures, (“But Moony, you’re so talented, so good,”) had escalated, Remus had received flowers, letters written in perfect cursive (which Sirius avoided doing - it reminded him too much of his family). Remus had also been right, Sirius’ attempts had certainly been interesting, and he found himself being the centre of the other boy’s attention almost all the time, which he most certainly was _not_ revelling in.

“Mooooooonyyyyy,” Remus frowned, folding the corner of his page over and putting down his book. “Mooooooonnnyyyy,” the noise continued, Remus snorted when he realised where it was coming from. While he hardly objected to Sirius’ company, he had become very comfortable in his little cocoon of blankets on his bed. The curtains were shut and Remus was really able to snuggle up with a good book and some of Honeydukes finest hot chocolate.  
He blinked, noticing that Sirius’ calling had stopped, _he must’ve given up already_ , Remus shrugged, moving into a lying position and picking his book back up. The words on the paper were calling him back in, each sentence was forming new images in his head and he began to delve deeper into the story when -  
“MOOONYYY!!” The curtain to his bed flew open and Remus barely had time to move his hot chocolate out of harm's way before Sirius flung himself onto the bed.  
And onto Remus.  
Onto his lap.  
Remus felt his face heating up as he became aware of how close the pair were. Sirius was positively _straddling_ him. Sirius’ words fell on deaf ears and Remus had completely spaced out of the conversation, focusing on how Sirius’ body felt against his. The two fit together perfectly, Sirius’ more muscular but altogether smaller body fitting Remus’ slim, tall frame like two pieces of a jigsaw.  
Sirius had always gesticulated wildly while speaking, a habit Remus and the rest of the marauders had long since gotten used to, but it made for a lot of _movement_. And with Sirius already straddling Remus’ crotch, the less movement that happened the better. Or the more movement that happened the better. Remus couldn’t initially decide and began to weigh up the pros and cons of both, in shocking detail.  
“So… what do you think?” Remus bit his lip, mind snapping back into the conversation at the end of Sirius’ sentence. He silently cursed himself for getting too focused on Sirius’ body; the way his hips curved slightly more when he sat, how tightly his thighs gripped onto Remus’ lap, how Sirius’ broader, more muscular arms tensed as he held himself up, the way-  
“What? Drink at your party? Yeah I’ll drink at your party I’d love to sounds like a great time can’t wait, thanks, Sirius I have to pee now goodbye,” Remus blurted out, practically pushing Sirius off of him before making a mad dash to the bathroom.  
He slammed the door behind him, leaning against it while attempting to steady his breathing.

 _Fuck,_ he thought _, did Sirius just give me a boner?_

* * *

 

Saturday came around scarily fast, and since he had now agreed to drink at the party (albeit in desperate circumstances), there was no going back for Remus. The four Marauders were stood in the common room, designating tasks in the preparation for the party.  
“DIBS NOT GETTING FOOD FROM THE KITCHENS!!” Peter screamed, jumping up from his seat. Remus took the hint at the same time as James did, calling dibs and leaving Sirius to go off to the kitchens, grumbling and swearing about _stupid Hufflepuff stoners always making me get more food._ James snorted, watching Sirius’ retreating form before turning back to his fellow Marauders.  
“Okay so, If we set up the drinks by the staircase there, we have loads of space for dancing in the middle, we just have to move the sofas over a bit.” James chewed his lip, scanning the room for the best organisation. “Moony did you get any new records while you were on break?” Remus nodded, Ziggy Stardust and Queen had made his way into his collection, and his favourites.  
“James don’t put the drinks by the stairs, the drunk people will try and go up and then inevitably fall, plus if they vomit it’ll be there which means we can’t get back to the dorm without stepping over it,” Remus interjected, meeting James’ pensive look of agreement and Peter’s silent look of admiration.  
“This is why you’re a Marauder, Moony. Drinks in the centre-back.” James said as the first guests began to file in.

LINE BREAK SIRIUS POV

“Stupid fucking Hufflepuffs, fucking stoners always making me have to get more food so fucking-” Sirius grumbled, tickling the pair and storming into the kitchen.  
“Welcome, Mr Black! What can I get for you?” A house elf greeted him cheerily, bouncing with joy. Sirius took out the list written for him, reciting everything he needed to the excitable house elf. _Chocolate frogs, chips, pizzas, cake…_  
Sirius made his way back to the common room, loaded with food under the concealment of the invisibility cloak, his mood had soured - _I bet Remus has already started drinking against the Ravenclaws,_ he frowned, picking up his pace, _hell, I bet he’s already finished and I didn’t even get to watch._  
“Scallywags,” He said, as the Fat Lady’s portrait swung open, revealing the pulsating rhythms of some top 40’s song Sirius couldn’t recognise. The party was in full swing, in the corner, a group of Hufflepuffs were draped over the furniture, surrounded by gillyweed smoke and laughing nonsensically. Sirius marched over, dumping half of the food on the table in front of them and watching as they reached out, grabbing blindly at it. He glanced over to where the tables had been placed, expecting to see Remus and some poor Ravenclaw chugging a bottle of firewhiskey, but the tables were empty, except for the single shaggy-haired Ravenclaw boy passed out, face pressed unattractively against the wooden surface.  
He scanned the room, searching for his tawny haired friend. His eyes flitted across the room, noticing how James was stood strategically close to Lily and her friends, with a glass of firewhiskey in his hand. Slightly to the left of him, Peter sat at one of the couches, staring listlessly into space, a long since forgotten bottle of firewhiskey resting precariously against his hip.  
Sirius froze. Surely that couldn’t be Remus. Sirius hadn't had a drop to drink yet but he must have been drunk. Or high on gillyweed or _something_ because surely that wasn’t Remus. This drunken, dancing, flirting machine surely could not be Remus Lupin. The boy was stood with two Ravenclaw boys, retelling a story with a level of drama reminiscent of Sirius’ own, but what really shocked Sirius was the drunken Mary Macdonald glued to his side, giggling at his every word. Sirius frowned, reaching for a drink and moving closer to the wall, where he could get a better view of the strange scene unfolding.  
In simple terms, Remus looked _hot_. Even when intoxicated the boy carried and air of composure, he wasn’t staggering where he stood or slurring his words like many of the other drunk kids at the party, he was just like his normal self, but cut loose. Sirius watched as Mary made every attempt to gather Remus’ attention, currently split between checking out the shorter of the two Ravenclaws in front of him and continuing to tell his story. Mary’s hand roamed up and down Remus’ chest and Sirius gasped when Remus lowered his hand down to her butt in response, while still flirting with the Ravenclaw in front of him. Sirius couldn’t believe his eyes, this boy was so different from the Remus he knew. The calm, reserved, sarcastic boy he had become so close to in the past six years, but that was not to say he didn’t like it.  
_It’d be far better if it wasn’t with that stupid bint Mary though_ , Sirius thought, watching as the two Ravenclaw boys walked off and Remus leant in, whispering something in Mary’s ear that set her off on another giggling spree. Sirius scowled, Not Looking as Remus’ mouth moved from her ear and began working on leaving a love bite on her neck.

  
“Bloody hell, Black, miserable at your own party?” Marlene McKinnon strutted up to him, all blonde hair and legs and red lips. She smirked, noticing exactly who Sirius was looking at.  
“Fuck off McKinnon,” Sirius grumbled in response, taking an angry sip of firewhiskey and diverting his eyes as Mary led Remus to another part of the room, out of his line of sight.  
Marlene laughed, brushing off Sirius’ mood, “Did you see Remus?” She asked. Sirius just scowled in response, “Of course you did, dumb question. But where has he been hidden all these years? Never knew the boy was such a flirt! Should’ve seen him earlier, Emmaline Vance was all over him too!” Sirius grabbed another drink as Marlene continued to talk, recounting all of the people Remus had left starstruck that night.  
“OY POTTER!!” Sirius looks up from his drink, looking up at Marlene incredulously, _what is she playing at?_ Marlene simply glances at him, a smug smile on her face as James swaggers up to her (as much as one can swagger under the influence of alcohol).  
“To what do I owe the pleasure McKnickers?” James said, bowing clumsily.  
“See Lupin?” She asked.  
“Quite the casanova that one isn’t he? It’s a shock to us all,”  
“Yeah well Black is miserable about it,” Marlene said, ignoring Sirius’ protests, “get him into some lonely girl’s pants or something so I don’t have to listen to his whining.”  
“I do not whine! And-”  
“I don’t know how much some girl is gonna help him,” James snorted, receiving a glare from Sirius.  
“Well then get him into Lupin’s bloody trousers then,” Sirius looked up at Marlene, his eyes wide. How did she know that he-?  
“Great idea! Alright, Pads let’s get you together with Remus, shall we?” Sirius stared at James, his mouth forming an ‘o’, “Oh come on! You don’t think I didn’t notice you fancied him? You’re about as subtle as a hippogriff in a bear suit!”  
Sirius frowned, about to question James’ ever obscure metaphors when he noticed Remus and Mary Macdonald emerging from a closet at the other side of the common room. He didn’t notice the way Remus’ hair was messed up like it had had hands running through it passionately, or how his cheeks were flushed or his shirt unbuttoned, and Sirius absolutely didn’t notice how Remus’ lips were slightly swollen. He didn’t notice any of these things at all. And he most certainly was not turned on by the sight of them. No, instead he turned to James, gulped and said with a strained voice: “Go for it.”

* * *

 

“Remus, can we talk?” Fuck, Remus knew Gideon would approach him eventually, especially after what had happened at the entrance feast, but _now_?  
“What can I do for your fine ass today, Gid?” Remus slurred his words slightly, leaning against the wall for support. Gideon frowns, staring straight into Remus’ eyes and making him very uncomfortable.  
“Look, about last summer…” Gideon starts, trailing off and biting his lip. Before Remus could even react Gideon’s lips were pressed against his own, Gideon's hands found their way to Remus’ hair, Gideon was kissing him. Gideon is kissing him? Remus pressed his hands against the other boy’s chest, pushing him away and shaking his head ridiculously quickly.  
“We shouldn’t do this Gid, this summer was fun and all but… I don’t know, I just can’t like you in that way it’s not-”  
“Who is it then?” Gideon asked him. Remus looked at him blankly, who is it what? “Whoever it is that’s stopping you from liking me back, you must be really into them huh?”  
Oh. Remus nodded microscopically, eyes looking at everything and anything but the boy in front of him.  
“Is is Macdonald?” Gideon asked, frowning and watching Remus’ every move. He always looked at Remus like that; as if he were a puzzle that he had to solve, it bothered him. Remus shook his head, Mary was nice, but she wasn’t his type at all. “Well fuck dude,” Gideon sighed, running his hands through his hair and looking at the ground, “I hope whoever it is they make you really happy. I know for a fact you can make them all kinds of happy in return.” Gideon’s eyes flicked towards Remus’ lips before the boy turned to walk away before freezing. He turned back, watching Remus with narrowed eyes.  
“It’s bloody Black isn’t it?” He asked, awaiting some kind of response. But Remus didn’t say a word.  
_Shit, he thought, it’s bloody Black, isn’t it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do wizards have pizza?   
> I can only assume they do.  
> (Any comments are appreciated <3)


	5. Hangovers and Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a filler, apologies.

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN!!!”  _ Shit,  _ Remus’ thoughts were only just louder than a banging headache shaking his entire skull,  _ shit shit shit I can’t deal with Sirius right now shit.  _ Remus swore under his breath, attempting to move into a different position so he could pretend to be asleep and escape the inevitable awkward conversation with Sirius. Slowly, he turned, letting out an unintentional groan as his head throbbed harder at the slight movement; Remus cursed,  _ so much for pretending to be asleep then _ .

It was as if Sirius had heard every thought in Remus’ head as his head popped through the curtains, barely letting any light into Remus’ cocoon of now alcohol-scented blankets. 

“Remus John Lupin,” Sirius said once more, this time in greeting rather than a warning. Remus frowned, taking in Sirius’ facial expression, he had expected a knowing smirk or smug smile from Sirius, followed by a demand to know everything that had happened, concluded with an all-too-friendly slap on the back; but instead, Sirius’ facial features were warped into an expression of concern, something that didn’t belong on the ever smirking face of Sirius Black. 

“You don’t have a hangover,” Remus stated, his brain couldn’t handle all this information at once. His throbbing headache wasn’t helped by Sirius’ concerned face or Sirius’ messy morning hair or Sirius’ perfectly, deliciously plump lips. And it sure as hell wasn’t helped by the fact that Remus was thinking all of these things when he should, in fact, be sleeping off the killer hangover plaguing him.

“I barely drank,” Sirius declared, climbing onto the bed and sitting across from Remus, “You did though, you were drunk.”

Remus snorted, sending another violent shot of pain to his temples, it seemed both his and Sirius’ conversational skills began and ended with stating the blatantly obvious. He licked his lips, eyes darting towards the potion in Sirius’s hands, “Can I at least have some hangover potion before you interrogate me?”

“No,” Sirius said, trying to assert some kind of authority; Remus whimpered, clutching his head dramatically, “Okay fine! God Remus, you’re impossible to say no to.”

Smirking, Remus reached for the potion in Sirius’ hands, grabbing it before the other boy changed his mind. He downed it, wincing at the unpleasant taste but simultaneously sighing in relief as his headache lessened and the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach evaporated. He grinned happily, pulling himself up into a sitting position.

“So…” 

“Mary Macdonald, eh?” Sirius asked, raising an expectant eyebrow.

“Not my type,” Remus stated, attempting to run his hands through his tangled hair and ignoring the quiet noise of approval Sirius gave him in response. “Gives good blowjobs though.”

Sirius gaped at him, “Where has Remus gone? The boy I once knew wouldn’t say boo to a flobberworm who is this? Gives good-  _ bloody hell Remus!”  _

Remus laughed, “Wouldn’t say boo to a flobberworm? You do realise I turn into a man-eating monster once a month right?”

“Oh please, I’ve seen Moony, he’s all bite and no bark. Playful one, he is,” Sirius snorted.

 

Remus shook his head, chuckling. Sirius always had this eternal faith in him, as if he could do no harm; he was almost completely unfazed when he found out that Remus was a werewolf, and set almost immediately to action in becoming an animagus, though Remus didn’t know about it at the time. He showed next to no fear in his first transformation with Moony, nor did Prongs and Wormtail; in fact, Remus was the only one with any doubts regarding the whole thing. Sirius seemed to think Remus was harmless, and Remus almost agreed with him. Almost. But he knew, deep down that would change scarily soon, and he wasn’t sure how he or Sirius would handle it.

 

“Okay so Mary isn’t your type, it seems Ravenclaw boys are only interesting for you for a couple minutes at a time, I noticed you rejected Gideon, and you  _ never  _ drink enough to get yourself drunk. So what’s going on in that head of yours Remu?”

Remus frowned, Sirius had noticed all of that? How long had he been watching him for that night? He flushed, thinking about how much of a fool he must have made of himself, desperate to change the subject. “Remu?”

“Remus is a plural, one Remu, multiple Remus,” Sirius stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Don’t try and change the subject.”

“I’m concerned by how much you notice about me Sirius, we need to get you a hobby,” Remus forced out a laugh, desperately avoiding Sirius’ question.

“You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Changing the subject.” Sirius’ expression was… well, serious. His eyes followed Remus’ as the boy attempted to look anywhere but at Sirius.

“It's the full moon next week,” Remus began, “But it’s also a lunar eclipse. A full eclipse. And they’re supposed to fuck up werewolves real bad, but I don’t really know what’s going to happen I mean, there’s so few books on werewolves there's no real way of knowing for certain. There are rumours and legends but I don’t know how true they are and-”

“You’re stressing about it?” Sirius interjected, watching as Remus nodded, looking at his hands, “Don’t worry about it Remu, you’ve got Prongs, Wormy and I, and we wouldn’t ever let a thing happen to you would we? Don’t you raise your eyebrow at me no we would  _ not _ !” 

 

Sirius looked at Remus, awaiting some kind of response, but Remus couldn’t muster one. Sirius’ mind began to wander back to last night, how Remus moved so differently when he was drunk, so fluidly, as if he and every other person in that room were once joint entity, moving in perfect unison. Sirius had never seen that side of Remus, the side that was so comfortable and without inhibitions or a filter on what he said; Remus Lupin was usually clumsy, his limbs far too long for him to know what to do with them, covered in bruises and cuts from him tripping or smacking into things, but more than this Remus Lupin was careful. He was cautious and calculating and honestly would have made a terrifyingly good Slytherin because he kept such a watchful eye on everything he said and did so that nobody would suspect what he was. His self-preservation went so far as to him becoming this overall soft and caring cardigan wearing person, the last person anyone would ever suspect to be a werewolf. But this person was as much Remus as the wolf was, even though the boy made every possible precaution to prepare himself from his transformations and keep everyone as safe from him as possible, he was just as cautious with how he was seen and presented. And as far as anyone else knew, Remus Lupin was a teddy bear. But on that night Sirius Black and the world saw a side of Remus that nobody had expected. Remus with the filter removed, Remus without the layers of protection, Remus without the ‘I hope nobody thinks I’m dangerous’ persona. And frankly, it was as refreshing as it was attractive and, Sirius thought, it was very attractive.

 

“Hey, Sirius?” Remus asked, breaking Sirius’ train of thought.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really fucking hungry.”

 

* * *

 

Monday rolled around at a shocking pace, the weekend seemed to be over so much quicker than any of the Marauders had been prepared for. The morning had brought a cold wind rushing through the castle, orchestrated by howling winds and constant rainfall pelting the castle. By evening, the entire castle was blisteringly cold, even with the assistance of heating charms. Remus was sat at the back of the library and two jumpers and a heating charm later he was still sat shivering, he pulled at the frayed edges on the sleeves of his jumper absentmindedly, staring off into space. 

Remus groaned, dragging his attention back to the large book in front of him. His eyes scanned over the page, weaving between words until he eventually found what he was looking for. ‘Lunar eclipses’, he read, ‘are a volatile time for those plagued with lycanthropy. While it is generally unknown how these eclipses affect the lycanthrope, rates of registered werewolves committing homicide in their human forms have been shown to increase by almost double.’ Remus blanched, pausing his fidgeting to give his full attention to the book.. ‘It is speculated that the lycanthrope will revert to their human form, but will still contain the animalistic mind of the wolf, some wizards have suggested that the blood red colour of the moon will induce rage among the lycanthrope, often sending them on serial killing sprees.’

 

He froze, staring intensely at the page, willing the words on the page to turn to something else. Anything else. He could handle a painful transformation or a particularly angry wolf; these were all things he could manage, but not this. As a wolf, Remus was manageable, he could be kept in the shack and controlled by Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs; the wolf didn’t have the intelligence to figure out the doors to the shack, or to press the knot of the Whomping Willow; this made his transformations bearable, he knew what the wolf was and wasn’t capable of and how best to stop it. But this was new territory. He didn’t know what he could do in that form, as a wolf in wizard’s clothing. Would he keep his mind? Could he control himself? Remus frowned, pressing his forehead against the cold wood of the table, mind racing with possibilities and what if, what if, what if?

  
_ One day at a time, Remus,  _ he thought to himself, lifting his head and shoving the book into his bag,  _ just take it one day at a time. _


	6. Moon Moods and Eclipses

“What the fuck are you talking about, Pete?” Remus snapped, frowning as Peter jumped in response. The boy had been talking for the past thirty minutes about some Hufflepuff girl he was convinced was into him.

“I- uh….” Peter fumbled over his words, shrinking into himself.

“Shit. Sorry. Carry on, ignore me.” Remus frowned deeper, finding it more and more difficult to keep his temper under control as the day went on. After swearing at McGonagall in Transfigurations, shattering a crystal ball in Divination and tearing some poor Ravenclaw’s parchment in Arithmancy and earning himself four detentions, Remus had given up on going to classes for the rest of the day, instead resigning to the dorm room, half listening to Peter’s tirades while flipping through a book. Before the moon, Remus’ mood was volatile, to say the least. The wolf took over a part of him, making him angrier than he ever would be, but his mood swings were so much more intense in the face of the eclipse. Remus had spent the day avoiding thinking too hard about what would happen that night, half out of fear and half out of denial - _this is just another full, it’ll be fine._

 

The door to the dorm opened with a tiny creak and Sirius’ face peeked around the door, anticipating attack from Remus. Slowly, he moved into the room, followed by James, who threw a small smile Remus’ way, and a sympathetic one towards Peter. Remus lay back on his bed, fishing in his pockets for a pack of cigarettes, he lit one, bringing it to his lips and puffing out a plume of smoke; suddenly aware of the silence in the room and the three pairs of eyes watching his every move.

“What?” Remus said, sending a side-eyed glare towards his friends.

“Uhhh…” James and Peter drawled in unison, avoiding making direct eye contact with Remus, instead of turning to Sirius, leaving him to do the talking. Sirius was the only person Remus would listen to in his grumpy pre-moon stage.

“What time do you want us to come down to the shack Remu?” Sirius asked, moving from his own bed to sit at the edge of Remus’.

“You aren’t.” Remus deadpanned, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Don’t be dumb, Remus, of course we’re coming.” Sirius said, grabbing the cigarette from Remus’ lips and taking a drag, feigning nonchalance.

“If you come, I could kill you.”

“That’s hardly a new risk, Remus,” James interjected, watching as Remus snatched the cigarette back, with slightly too much force. Remus turned towards him, directing a withering stare his way, James gulped, Remus’ bad moods were limited only to the day of a full moon but had never been this bad.

“No. If you come, I _will_ kill you. It’s inevitable. I’m not going to the shack to transform, I’m going so I don’t go on a ‘homicidal rampage.’” Remus growled, putting out his cigarette and grabbing another sweater, ignoring the fear-stricken expressions he was receiving from his friends. He knew he was being harsh, but he would rather be harsh now than have dead friends later.“Now if you don’t mind, I’m going. The sooner I get out of here, the sooner this night will be over.”

And with that, Remus turned, unintentionally slamming the door of the dorm off of its hinges, swearing as he made his way down the stairs.

 

Sirius, James and Peter sat frozen, staring at the door where Remus had left. James cast a fixing charm on the door and the three boys watched as it reattached to its hinges, closing gently.

“We’re still going to the Shack, right?” Sirius said, turning his attention away from the now-fixed door.

Peter gulped, looking to James for some kind of support, relaxing immediately when he saw that James’ expression matched his own. _It’s not that I don’t want to help Remus,_ he thought, _but we don’t know what he can do._ Peter looked to Sirius, shrinking under the intensity of his stare, moving to tug on the corner of his bed sheets.

“Remus doesn’t want us to come,” Peter silently thanked James for breaking the silence and saying what he didn’t have the courage to. Sirius only glared at James in response, getting up and moving to Remus’ bedside table, grabbing at potions and cigarettes and other unidentifiable things.

“Remus _never_ wants us to come, even when he knows it helps.” Sirius countered, shoving his hoard into his bag, “And besides, the wolf likes Prongs and Wormtail, so what’s the worry?” He smiled, the very expression that would normally have girls in a giggling mess around him; but James wasn’t sated so easily.

“That’s not the wolf in there,” James said.

“Even better, if it’s Remus we’re definitely safe!” Sirius smiled, moving towards the door, hoping his friends would follow. The truth was, Sirius was terrified. Part of him knew Remus was right, it was too dangerous for them to go to the shack, he was too unpredictable and volatile and none of them really knew what he was capable of. But Sirius Black was stubborn, he was more than willing to risk his life if it meant helping his friend; more than anything Sirius would do anything for Remus, he cared about the boy far more than he knew he should, but that didn’t stop him from caring anyway.

“B-but did you see Remus today? He’s really strong and _really_ angry.” Peter mumbled, not looking up from his bright red bed sheets.

“Pete’s right, Sirius. That’s not the wolf but that’s not Remus either, we shouldn’t-”

“Fine.” Sirius retorted, opening the door slowly, “If you won’t be there for him, I will.”

 James and Peter watched as Sirius walked out the door, slamming it, but not off its hinges.

 

The two boys looked at each other, faces written with doubt.

 

“We can’t let him go alone.” James said.

“Remus will kill us for this,” Peter added.

“Don’t use that lightly, Wormy.”

 

* * *

 

The Shrieking Shack was not haunted, despite the rumours that surrounded it. The old building was all broken walls and floorboards, scratch marks and faded wood from Remus’ anxious, pacing form. And that night was no exception, Remus moved up and down and up and down and up and down, anticipating the rise of the moon and the eventual eclipse. His joints ached in anticipation of a transformation, and his mind raced in anticipation of what would happen when the transformation didn’t happen. A small part of him wanted Sirius there, James and Peter too; but he wanted Sirius more, he was the one person who he could really tolerate in his ‘Moon Moods’ as the boy had named them. Remus smothered that small, longing part of him, it was better for everyone that Sirius wasn’t there, only then could Remus guarantee that Sirius would be safe - he didn’t know what Padfoot would see or what Moony would do.

If any of this was even Moony.

Remus stopped pacing, sticking his nose into the air. Someone else’s scent just entered the shack, _pack?_ He recognised Sirius’ smell at the same time as the wolf did, freezing in fear. Moony smelled Padfoot in Sirius, but was conflicted; _human or dog?_ Remus restrained himself, the wolf wanted to run, to play; that was his pack coming in here. But louder than this urge, the wolf wanted to kill, Remus could smell the blood running through Sirius’ veins as he made his way through the willow and into the shack.

“You shouldn’t be here, Sirius,” Remus warned, turning towards the doorway at the exact moment Sirius poked his head around. “Has the moon risen yet?”

Sirius smiled, shaking his head; Remus could see how hard he was trying to set Remus at ease. “Reckon you’ve got another ten minutes.”

“Fuck. You need to go, Sirius,” Remus looked at Sirius, wide-eyed, panic rushed through his veins. The urge to _kill, kill, kill,_ was getting louder and louder with every second Sirius was there. “Take my wand and go, you can’t come back, okay?” Remus shoved his wand into Sirius’ hand, turning away and resuming his pacing.

“I’m not going, Moons,” Sirius said, placing a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

“For fuck's sake, Sirius!!” Remus swerved around, grabbing Sirius’ wrist, “I don’t think you understand just how much the wolf wants to kill you right now, and when that moon rises I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop it! So just go!”

“Remus, my hand,” Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Fuck, Sirius I-” Remus let go of Sirius’ wrist, leaving hand marks that were guaranteed to bruise, “I can’t control this, I don’t want to hurt you. Just go.”

Sirius didn’t respond, watching Remus with a steely expression. Remus sighed, running his hands through his hair, his joints ached, every movement hurt; he silently hoped that this pain would continue and increase. It was grounding. And maybe then he wouldn’t be able to move too fast. Remus frowned, turning to Sirius.

“Why are Prongs and Wormy here?”

Sirius froze, turning to the doorway to the shack, faint footsteps echoed through the passageway in the willow. James and Peter flew through the doorway, panting.

“Moon rises in two minutes, blokes.” James gasped, recovering his breath.

 

James blanched as every muscle in Remus’ body tightened. Remus turned, his movements were strained and he kept his hands firmly behind his back.

“You need to go,” Remus’ voice was barely above a growl, his amber eyes glowed in the low light of the shack, they seemed far more animal than human by now. James looked over to Sirius, silently asking for permission to leave; he groaned as Sirius shook his head, instead, turning into Padfoot, and walking towards Remus. James and Peter copied his actions, changing into their animagus forms, but unlike Sirius, they kept a safe distance between themselves and Remus, if he could even be called that.

Remus’ muscles relaxed all of a sudden, the boy stood, still with his back to the Marauders; his actions were methodical, and still vaguely Remus-like. He clicked his neck from side to side, rolled his shoulders and stretched, before turning around to face his friends. This wasn’t Remus anymore, the calm, polite and bookish werewolf they once knew was gone; and in his place stood the monster Remus had spent the past four years telling them he was. But Remus wasn’t a monster, he was Remus. James desperately tried to look past the strangely animalistic boy in front of him and focus on the Remus he knew was there, deep down. Remus looked up at them, picking the dirt from under his nails, which had lengthened and become almost claw-like. He still carried a strange air of nonchalance, as if this was all normal and there was nothing to be concerned about. Slowly, he drew his attention away from his claws and towards the stag and the rat against the wall, watching him intently.

 

“I still know you’re humans,” Remus growled, a humourless, sadistic, animal smile spread across his face as he moved closer to James and Peter, ignoring Sirius. “I can smell your fear. It’s-” Remus breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and taking in the scent, “- _intoxicating.”_ Remus flicked Prongs’ antler, still smiling, baring sharp, wolfish teeth. James gulped, forcing himself to remember that this wasn’t Remus anymore. This wasn’t Moony either, it was something completely different altogether.

Remus turned, moving towards the door to the shack, he sent one final smile to James, Peter and Sirius before ripping it off its hinges and walking out. Prongs and Padfoot sprang into action, forcing themselves through the doorway and blocking Remus’ path. Remus growled, crouching slightly, preparing for an attack. Prongs stood tall, trying to smother his fear to stop Remus. He grounded his hooves, taking up as much space as possible and filling the passageway, barring all exit. Padfoot took a different approach, bounding up to Remus and nipping his leg, he barked, jumping up and down, trying to invite Moony to play, like he had on so many moons before. Remus turned, letting out a half howl half scream before chasing Padfoot back into the shack. It was clear he wasn’t playing with Padfoot like Moony would, he was after blood.

James turned back to his human form, running into the shack. “SIRIUS, WE NEED TO RESTRAIN HIM!! PETER GO AND GET HELP!!” The three boys sprang into action, Peter in his rat form sprinted out of the shack towards the castle, Padfoot lured Remus up the stairs and towards the bedroom. The two boys desperately hoped this would work.

James bolted up the stairs, throwing the door to the bedroom open and blanching. Padfoot was cornered, Remus stood tall above him, dagger-like teeth bared.

“REMUS!!” James screamed, drawing Remus’ attention away from the cowering dog in front of him. A growl echoed through the shack as Remus lunged towards James. He was faster and stronger than either of the boys could handle. Padfoot barked, trying to move Remus’ attention away from James and towards himself, but he was far too focused on his easier target.

“JAMES, TURN BACK!” Sirius' voice echoed through the building from where he stood in Padfoot’s place. Hurriedly, James turned back into Prongs. Remus hesitated, _not human,_ he thought. The smell of wizard filled his nostrils and Remus swerved, moving towards Sirius.

Sirius blanched, reaching out to grab Remus’ arm when the boy swung at him. The force of the punch knocked him back, but Sirius revelled in the small victory - _one arm down, one to go._ James immediately figured out what to do, and turned back to his human form, reaching out for Remus’ other arm, which was violently grabbing at Sirius. When both of Remus’ arms had been seized, the boys began to move him towards the bed. Remus fell still, his temper temporarily sated. James and Sirius looked at each other quizzically but continued to move Remus towards the bed, using his stillness to their advantage.

_CRACK!_

Sirius screamed, holding onto his arm. Even like this Remus was smart, smart enough to stop struggling until the right time, smart enough to know that broken bones would just make his targets more vulnerable. He had twisted Sirius’ arm, throwing him onto the floor and moving towards the door. James ran to the closet, where the boys typically kept their wands during moons.

“ _Petrificus Totalus!”_ He screamed, watching as Remus’ body froze in the doorway, sending him clattering down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 “Mr Lupin, I’m glad you’re back with us,” McGonagall’s voice pulled Remus firmly back into a state of consciousness. Remus winced, suddenly aware of the heat emanating from the enormous straps fastening him to his bed in the Hospital Wing. _Silver laced,_ he thought, his whole body recoiled at the thought of it as he wracked his brain to remember what happened last night.

“What happened?” Remus croaked, his voice was hoarse, it hurt to say anything. His question was met with only a frown from McGonagall, but before she could respond, Dumbledore was stood by her side, smiling kindly at Remus.

“Remus, good to see you! Chocolate?” Remus frowned, unnerved by the Professor's happy demeanour.

“What happened?” He repeated, slightly louder this time. Dumbledore frowned in response, his expression matching that of McGonagall's.

“Do you mean to say you don’t remember anything that happened last night?” McGonagall asked, leaning closer to Remus.

“No. What did I do? Where is everyone?” Remus’ eyes flicked to every corner of the room, searching for any sign that his friends had been there, adrenaline ran through his veins and his mind rushed to every worst case scenario.

“Mr Potter and Pettigrew are currently stood outside of the door, waiting to be let in. Eavesdropping I imagine.” Remus relaxed slightly, before freezing.

“And Sirius?” He asked, expecting the worst.

Remus blanched as McGonagall and Dumbledore made brief eye contact, sharing a look of concern. “Mr Black is quite alright, Remus. Don’t worry.”

“I hurt him didn’t I?”

“Mr Black and Mr Potter saved your life and that of others. They suspected you wanted to go towards the castle and it seems you would have been able to leave the shack last night.” Remus gasped, unable to form a single coherent sentence, his mind was racing, _I’m a monster, I could have killed everyone. I don’t deserve to survive._

“Mr Lupin, please don’t blame yourself. Nobody could have known what would happen during an eclipse. At least now we know.”

 _Yeah,_ Remus thought, _at least we can be certain I’m a monster._


	7. Memories and Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the looong time since updating, school has completely swallowed me whole, but it spat me out again! I'm back and writing again!

 “Can you take the silver off me now please?” Remus asked, staring blankly at the two professors stood over him. Dumbledore frowned, making brief eye-contact with Professor McGonagall, neither of the two moved, watching Remus hesitatingly. Frowning, McGonagall lifted her wand, charming the shackles off him, preparing to defend herself if Remus attacked, sighing and lowering her wand when he simply stared at her, eyes devoid of emotion.

“Mr Lupin if you could tell us what you remember from last night, that would be greatly appreciated,” Dumbledore said, smiling warmly and sitting down next to Remus, unafraid in comparison to McGonagall.

Remus’ mind flashed back to hunger, immense and inescapable hunger. To blood boiling, destructive, cataclysmic rage; he frowned, recollecting the wolf’s animalistic desire to _kill, kill, kill,_ the smell of wizard blood filling his nostrils, the uncertainty of _animal or person?_ More than anything Remus remembered his total disregard from differentiating between the two, animal or human, he didn’t care, so long as it bled and breathed and was covered from head to toe in flesh to rip and tear and destroy.

 

*****

“SIRIUS, WE NEED TO RESTRAIN HIM! PETER GO AND GET HELP!” James’ voice filled the silence of the shack. Moony dashed up the stairs, chasing the irritating man-dog, licking his lips in anticipation. He growled, baring his teeth, only met with similar but weaker growls in response from the dog in the corner of the room. _Pathetic Man-Dog_ , he thought, lowering himself in preparation for attack, basking in the scent of fear his target was releasing.

“REMUS!!” A voice in the doorway drew his attention away from the cowering dog in the corner. The smell of wizard filled the room, coercing every atom of his being into motion. He growled, throwing himself forward and towards the wizard. His claws dug and scraped into his flesh, drawing blood, the intoxicating smell filling his nostrils, he licked his lips, tuning out the incessant barking coming from the man-dog behind him.

His senses where thrown as the scent, shape and size of the creature under him warped and changed into something far more unfamiliar. Almost animalistic, it smelled of pack, family… _wizard._ Everything else was unimportant, Moony needed to eat, and this creature was food. He swerved, affronted with the smell of wizard once again, the man-dog had changed, his scent was smoky and familiar, emitting waves of fear and blood. Moony swung at him, knocking him back, but he was unable to release the creature’s persistent hold on his arm. The other wizard did the same, grabbing his other arm and leaving his torso immobile, he grinned, freezing immediately and making his muscles go slack, smelling the indecision and confusing between the two wizards; they froze, loosening their grip on him, giving him an opening. He heard a satisfying crack as one of the wizard’s bone broke, grinning darkly before turning to move out of the room.

“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!” His eyes darted across the room as his entire body froze, he watched and waited for what felt like hours, growling and baring his teeth as more wizards filed into the room, stepping around him and never getting too close. One of them stood taller than the others, his eyes glinting behind half-moon spectacles in the half light of the shack, gently speaking orders to everyone else in the room, the smell of fear was weaker with this one, replaced by the evermore intoxicating aroma of magic and power. Moony could only watch as silver shackles were bound to every extremity burning his flesh and drawing forth howls of pain; he could only growl and attempt to snap and bite and the powerful bespectacled man as he was levitated out of the shack and into the castle. He could only groan and growl until he couldn’t even do that anymore, when a silencing charm was cast upon him as soon as he entered the threshold of the castle.

Moony could only groan as the sun began to rise, feeling his muscles relax and his body temperature decrease as he became less Moony and more Remus.

 

*****

 

Remus stuttered, recounting his memories from the night, fragmented in everything but the distinct smells and tastes dictating the wolf’s actions. He distinctly left out any information regarding James and Sirius as Animagus, hoping the headmaster wouldn’t notice the subtle holes in his story. The words felt ashen on his tongue and his body filled with dread as he continued to recollect more and more information. Throughout it all his mind kept flitting back to Sirius, to the agonizing crack of bones as he twisted his arm back, to the blood that dripped from his head when he met the walls and the floors every time Moony would push him away. To the smell of fear. Sirius, the boy who felt Remus could do no harm, the boy who remained unfazed and unconcerned by Remus, even in his ‘Moon Moods’, even when he was ripping his own flesh to shreds every full moon; despite all this, Sirius never felt afraid. Never once doubted his safety in Remus’ presence. The boy who had unfaltering and unwavering trust in Remus was somewhere in the infirmary, possibly in any condition – and it was all Remus’ fault.

 

“Mr Lupin,” Remus was pulled out of his thoughts by Madame Pomfrey’s gentle voice, watching as she moved into the room almost soundlessly. “Sorry to interrupt Professor, but I’ve to give Remus his potions now.” She began laying out potions, each in their own different and asymmetrical shapes, emitting a variety of smells, some far more pleasant than others. Remus frowned, watching as Dumbledore got up from his seat next to Remus’ bed and dusted himself off.

“Of course, I’ll be back later to see you Remus,” Dumbledore said, “Keep resting.” And with that, the man turned out of the room with swishing robes, leaving behind only a slight smell of lemon sherbet.

 

Pomfrey handed Remus potion after potion, making light small talk while she worked, every word falling on deaf ears. _I’m dangerous,_ Remus thought, _I could’ve killed so many people, I shouldn’t even be allowed here anymore, it’s far too risky._ His mind whirled, torn between requesting to leave the school and staying; Hogwarts had become his home, the one place he was truly free to be himself. His friends were closer to him than even his parents, who Remus knew deep down resented him for what he was and how difficult he was making their lives. They would never tell Remus this, but he could tell by the way his mother would flinch if he touched her or the faraway look of regret that would grace his father’s features whenever he would look at his son for too long.

            But the Marauders never looked at him like that, never flinched away from him or feared him. Even when he was grumpy and irritable and freakishly strong coming up to a moon they still never truly feared him. They accepted him for what he was, they risked their own lives in the Animagus process, all so that full moons could be easier for him. _And this is what I do with their trust,_ Remus scowled, cursing himself for his stupidity, for not taking extra precautions that night.

“You mustn’t blame yourself really, Remus, nobody could have known,” Pomfrey said, smiling at him before turning away and gathering up the now empty potion phials. “More than anything, I can’t believe your friends would enter the shack like that, what _were_ they thinking. Give them a stern talking to on my behalf when you see them next. But for now, I expect you to be sleeping, okay?”

Remus nodded, not really hearing any of the words the woman had just thrown, rapid-fire in his direction. He sighed, turning over and facing the wall, dreading his friends’ reactions when he saw them next. Dreading the fear, they would inevitably direct his way, the mistrust and the discomfort. He was terrified, the Marauders wouldn’t be able to recover from this one, not now that the idea that Remus was a man-eating monster became more of a reality. The danger that seemed to follow Remus around was now something palpable, something that could be touched and felt and feared.

            He didn’t know what to dread more, their fear of him or the possible lack of fear. His friends were Gryffindors after all, fearless and overconfident, he couldn’t even be certain they _would_ fear him after this, which was immensely more dangerous. They would continue going to the shack with him, unrelenting in their desire to protect him, even though it put their lives in danger. _No,_ Remus thought, _I can’t let that happen, even if it means staying away from them, I’ll do it._

****

 

“Merlin, Sirius, it’s a wonder Pomfrey even let you out of the hospital wing what with how you’re behaving,” James said, watching as Sirius transfigured and armchair in the common room into a swing seat, swinging back and forth faster than was possibly safe.

“She said I was ‘the worst patient I’ve ever had, get out of here Sirius Black, and rest that arm for goodness sakes!’” Sirius replied, grinning proudly at James’ guffaw of laughter at his Pomfrey impression. Sirius glanced down and his bandaged arm, pulling at the loose threads on his sling, ignoring James’ criticisms of his handling of the healing process.

“Bones don’t just grow back like that, you need to keep your arm still or they’ll be all disjointed, and then Remus will feel even worse for having ruined your bones forever! Are you even listening?” James said, noticing how Sirius’ demeaner became instantly smaller on the mention of Remus’ name.

“Moony’s gonna hate himself for this,” Sirius mumbled, continuing to pluck at the loose threads, watching as they magically moved back into position, “He’s gonna blame himself, James, I know he will.”

            James’ heart broke for his two friends. For Sirius, who was so stupidly enamoured with Remus but simultaneously unaware of any way to pursue him or handle his own emotions, let alone Remus’. And Remus, the boy who already had to deal with so much, the Marauders all knew that Remus’ lycanthropy would make his life infinitely more difficult for him, watching as every mention of the future left Remus turning in on himself and tuning out the conversation. Both boys had a disposition of self-loathing, he knew how Remus would blame himself mercilessly for what happened, despite it not being him in control; he knew how Sirius would do the same, blaming himself for getting hurt and possibly making Remus’ already difficult life worse.

“Of course Remus will blame himself, Pads,” James started, putting up a hand at Sirius’ outraged expression, “I’m not saying he _should,_ I’m just saying he _will._ And it’s our job to stop him from doing that, or at least drag him out of the hole he’s dug himself.” James smiled softly as Sirius relaxed, despite the laid-back pretences, Sirius would stress and panic himself silly without a plan – that’s why all the Marauder’s pranks were so immaculately executed.

 

It was getting late and the common room was almost empty, but neither James nor Sirius were willing to go to bed until Remus arrived back. In the half-light of the common room, Sirius thought everything looked slightly too skeletal, the usually calming and comfortable space seemed spooky, as if his own inner turmoil translated into every piece of furniture in the room. _This is going to ruin everything,_ Sirius thought, staring into the crackling fireplace, _Remus is going to blame himself for all of this, but it’s my fault._ He scowled, noticing how James was glancing over at him every few seconds, as if anticipating another of Sirius Black’s Famous Freak-outs. _I should’ve just gone and got help, not gone to the shack alone; I was being so selfish, I just wanted to-_

Sirius was ripped out of his thoughts by the sound of the portrait hole swinging open and a tired looking Remus skulked in, refusing to look at either of the two boys sat in the corner watching his every move. James jumped up, immediately spurred forward by the release of all the anticipation of Remus’ return; Sirius, however, slowly rose from his seat, moving towards Remus more carefully than James, who was already in front of him, attempting to make animated conversation with Remus’ unwilling form.

_He’s gonna hate me,_ Sirius thought, not wanting to get too close to Remus in case the boy suddenly swung around, screaming and admonishing him. Sirius hesitated, before swallowing his pride and approaching Remus, smiling, relieved that his friend was okay, albeit quieter, but maybe he was just tired,

_He’s afraid of me,_ Remus’ entire body seized and goose bumps broke out on his arms. It suddenly seemed so much more difficult to breathe, as if all the air in the room had been sucked out, replaced by cold, murky water. He swallowed, only half hearing James’ chattering in the background.

 

“Remus mate are you okay?” James’ voice broke through the cold barrier of invisible water surrounding Remus’ mind and body, he glanced over at Sirius, who was stood over a meter away from him, with a forced smile on his face.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go to bed now,” Remus said, turning and leaving the room before the others even had time to respond.


	8. Smoke and Honey

Remus Lupin was studying. In the two weeks following the eclipse more time had been spent in the library than in his whole time at Hogwarts, or so it seemed. Breakfast was a solitary affair, the boy would wake up far earlier than the other Marauders, avidly pretending not to notice how Sirius was, coincidentally, always awake at the same time, never speaking, but always there. He would then go to breakfast himself, never grabbing more than an apple or a slice of toast, before retreating to the library to read. Or at least pretend to. 

Very little information was really absorbed during these library excursions, the trips were excuses to avoid and stay away from his friends, from Peter’s sympathetic stares, James’ determined and calculation gaze and Sirius’ distant and unreadable expressions. He didn’t know what Sirius was thinking these days, or James for that matter. It seemed as if the two boys were planning something, and whatever that something was it directly involved him, as the pair would consult each other in hushed tones after every fleeting interaction with Remus. Remus pretended not to be bothered by this, what James and Sirius and Peter did was entirely their choice, it was hardly like he could continue to associate with them anyways, he was, after all, a dangerous animal, and thus not safe to be friends with. So Remus pretended to be unfazed, but really, his mind was whirring with possibilities as to what the pair were discussing.

 _ _Probably trying to decide how best to request a room change,__ Remus ultimately decided, sat in the very back of the library, far away from the prying and always-there eyes of his friends. He sighed, flicking the page of the massive Arithmancy tome in front of him before turning the page back, suddenly aware that he couldn’t remember a word of what he had just read. The words seemed to be going in one ear and out the other, instead being replaced with angrier, far more intrusive thoughts.  _Freak_ , they said,  _you don't deserve to be here_ , they were inescapable, punctuating Remus' every action, making it impossible for his to reconcile the broken relationship with his friends, however much he may have wanted to.

They reminded Remus alot of his childhood, of the shattered relationships with his parents - his father particularly. Lyall Lupin had always been a caring man, always willing to put the needs of his family before anything else, he was respected, not only by those who knew him personally, but by anyone who had read any of the countless books and articles the man had wrote. This respect made the blow far harsher when he spoke against Fenrir Greyback, it made the fall from the top seems so much further when his only child had become the one thing he had condemned.  _Werewolves do not deserve to be a part of our society, they are dangerous monsters who, despite appearances, are not real humans. They are liars and frauds, and should be killed_. 

Those words stuck with Remus for his whole life, from the moment Fenrir's fangs dug into his flesh to the moments he spent, sat in the back of the library, flicking through books, sighing and furrowing his eyebrows at jusy the right time: doing just enough to seem studious and focused. But despite his efforts, Remus would always be a liar, undeserving of respectable wizard society, according to his father and the rest of wizarding Britain, he should be killed. 

Remus spent his time in the same way he spent his childhood, through tight lipped smiles and silently burning rage, the kind of rage he knew would come back to bite him on the next full moon, literally. The night of the eclipse had proven to him just how true his father's words against his kind were. He was a dangerous animal, it was far too risky for him to integrate into wizarding society, so he really didn't know why he even tried. But some small part of him was hanging on by the nails, refusing to give up on the opportunty he had, the chance to prove his father and everyone else wrong - to be a real wizard. 

 

It seemed the whole school were mourning the death of the Marauders, while James, Sirius and Peter remained a tight unit, Remus’ withdrawal from the group held far more significance than he had expected. Sirius’ moods fluctuated more than ever, with him ultimately remaining grumpy and brooding, making him infinitely more popular amongst the female population of the school, much to the amusement of James and Peter. It seemed that his bad mokds made him more "mysterious", only improving the 'misunderstood aristocrat wildchild' persona Sirius had publicly adopted. Remus most certainly did not care about this. Not at all. 

He cared so little that he found himself in a broom closet with Kingsley Shacklebolt sucking him off, he was not at all wishing that the boy’s hair was a little longer or his eyes a lot lighter in colour. But he almost couldn't bear to think of those eyes, those bright grey eyes once so full of muschief, because when he did, all he could remember was the smell of fear, the stricken look in those eyes, the crack of bones breaking and the smell of blood. Remus Lupin was not thinking about Sirius Black, he didn’t care what Sirius Black was up to.  

Remus refused to think too hard about Sirius Black, because despite all the extra time spent in the library, his grades were truly suffering.  

Because Remus Lupin was not studying. 

Remus Lupin was completely and unavoidably in love with Sirius Black. 

 

**** 

 

Sirius sighed, watching Remus’ back as he sat on the balcony of the dorm room, smoking his sixth cigarette of the night. Remus had been almost impossible to find, the boy had taken the map and put it somewhere, though none of the Marauders could figure out where. And so Sirius had spent the past week trying to catch Remus between lessons but the boy disappeared so quickly, his height gave more of a disadvantage in this endeavour, Remus walked ridiculously fast; his long legs making it even harder for Sirius to catch him. So instead, Sirius decided to approach Remus at meal times, only to realise that Remus hadn’t turned up for a single meal since the eclipse, instead choosing to go to the kitchens to get food to eat elsewhere. When Sirius began waiting at the kitchens at the start of every meal, Remus never showed up, and Sirius began to realise that, by doing this, he was just stopping his friend from eating altogether.  

But now, Sirius had a chance, Remus was there, sat on the balcony alone, James was out on the Quidditch Pitch and Peter was in the library, nobody would interrupt when Sirius spoke to Remus, he just had to go out there and say something.  _ _So why not just do it? Just get up and speak to him, some bloody Gryffindor you are.__ Sirius had spent the past half hour in the same position, sat on his bed, watching Remus’ back and silently admonishing himself, only moving to begin to get up before giving up, turning back to his bed, and sitting back down again. 

And so, when the first droplet of rain splashed against the window, Sirius could barely contain himself, grinning like an idiot and anticipating Remus’ re-entry to his life. He knew Remus wouldn't stay out in the rain, the boy hated getting wet as his body temperature took so long to restore to normal, he would get hypothermia far quicker than he could warm up by the fire. He had discussed this with James, plotting and planning and preparing everything he was going to say, he had even consulted __Witch Weekly’s: How to Make Them Love You In 7 Easy Steps,__ the article James worshipped, accrediting all of his success with Lily to it. Sirius soon realised that this was an awful idea, and James had been nothing even close to successful with one Lily Evans, simply putting his brief lapse of logic down to a bit of classic Black Family Insanity. So now, with the opportunity right in front of him, Sirius Black was frozen, incapable of moving, watching as Remus lit his ninth cigarette of the night, still sat in the gradually increasing drizzle

 

 He froze, watching with bated breath as the rain picked up in intensity and Remus shoved his pack of cigarettes in his pockets, Sirius could tell he was cursing, even through the glass separating them. Not many people would know it, but Remus swore like a sailor, far more than all of the other Marauders combined. Remus was tugging on the worn sleeves of his jumper, the beige one with the garish pattern Sirius had got him for Christmas last year, he turned, sliding open the balcony door. Sirius jumped up, standing barely two meters away from the door, his confident smile slipping into an awkward one as soon as he was face to face with Remus.

“Uh… hi..” Sirius ran his hands through his hair, already feeling uncomfortable.

Remus refused to make eye contact with Sirius, instead seemingly finding the Mystery Stain on the wall far more interesting, despite it's having been there since third year, when it suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. “Hi,” He said, his voice was distinctly emotionless, as it was wont to do whenever Remus was trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

Sirius frowned, moving so that he was in Remus’ eye line, “You know I’m not afraid of you right?” He said, watching as Remus’ eyes widened slightly, “I know that’s what you were thinking and… I’m not. At all. I thought… well I thought you would be mad at me, because-”

“Why the hell would I possibly be mad at you, Sirius? I was the one who broke your arm, and collar bone, and rib - not the other way around,” Remus’ eyes had taken on the faraway look they often took whenever Remus was upset. Sirius knew that the boy had always been proud of his ability to hide his emotions, had it been anyone but Sirius, it would have worked too. But Sirius Black noticed everything Remus Lupin. Be it how he would always fiddle with the sleeves of whatever he was wearing when he was uncomfortable, attempting to hide his scars, as if they were the reason behind his discomfort, or how he would sometimes retreat to the bathroom and stare at his scars, unblinking, sometimes for almost an hour - Sirius had always wanted to know what he was thinking when he did this. But instead, he pretended to be unaware of all of these things, rather than have Remus notice just how much Sirius saw of him, just in case he was aware of just how much Sirius liked him.

 

“Because I was the one who went to the shack first, even though you asked me not to-” Sirius began.

“It’s good you did, I would’ve gotten out otherwise,”

“Yeah, but, I was also the one who bit your leg and your leg bled, Remus, it looked painful, y’know?”

“Merlin, Sirius,” Remus sighed, “I’ve had paper cuts worse than that bite. When you get fucking werewolf bites and scratches every month, a dog bite is like a bee sting: slightly inconvenient but generally, harmless.” Remus raised a hand, silencing Sirius’ protests before he could even express them. “You’re wasting your time feeling bad about going to the shack, because however stupid and dangerous it was to go, you saved everyone in Hogwarts from me. And you’re not afraid of me? Trust me, that's bloody good to hear, but that doesn’t make me any less dangerous. It’d probably be safer for you to be afraid of me than it is for you not to.” Remus sighed again, reaching into his trunk and grabbing another pack of cigarettes while he spoke, before moving to leave the dorm room.

 

“Moony,” Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm, noticing how the boy didn’t __really__ struggle, he could’ve ripped Sirius’ arm off and taken it with him if he had really wanted to leave. “Moony, can you shut up please? You’re dangerous one day a month, so why avoid me every other day? And honestly, you’re not even __that__ dangerous then, because Moony likes to play more than anything else, and he’s ridiculously good at fetch, which he shows off at every given opportunity. And you, Remus, fold your fucking socks, and you wear ridiculously large jumpers, and honestly I don’t know how they’re all so bloody big for you because you’re so tall with such long arms but somehow the sleeves are too long for you. And you like to stare at your scars for a very long time when you think nobody is looking.

Remus, you’re the kid who volunteered to cover Professor Binns’ first year lesson because he was ‘off sick’, he’s a bloody ghost, Remus! He was having you on, but honestly, I don’t think anyone’s ever enjoyed a History of Magic lesson more than that one!”

Remus frowned, confused how Sirius knew all of this about him, he never seemed like the observant type, he was about to interrupt, but Sirius was still going.

“And you like to roll your eyes and pretend you think my music is ridiculous, even though you have more __The Clash__ and __Buzzcocks__ records than I do, so you can’t even pretend you aren’t a punk fan! And you’re a prefect! They wouldn’t make you a bloody prefect if they didn’t think you were good, and you aren’t even a git about it, except for that one time you took 90 points from Gryffindor because I took some of your chocolate, but I suppose I deserved it. But even then, you gave James the full 90 points back because he picked up a sock, __just__ so we wouldn’t lose the cup!”

“Sirius-”

“And you’re fucking amazing a duelling, even though you don’t need to be because you could kill a man with your bare hands, like that one time you punched Avery because he was mean to me and his nose was so badly broken Skele-Grow couldn’t fix it! You’re fucking amazing Remus! You’re not leaving me that fucking easily, dangerous or not, and I hope you know that! You’re a special bloke, really.” Sirius looked down at his hands, all of the confidence he had while talking seemed to disappear in anticipation of Remus’ response.

Remus hadn’t said anything yet, and Sirius could feel his hands getting clammy from anxiety, but he didn’t dare look up. What if Remus still hated him? Or had left? He was always strangely good at disappearing soundlessly, he could’ve just walked out of the room.

 

“Sirius,” Remus’ voice held something that Sirius couldn’t quite place, he raised his head slowly, only to be met with Remus’ body, almost pressed against his. He could feel the warmth radiating off of the taller boy, the woody, cigarette smoky smell that could only be described as __Remus.__ He froze, feeling a hand placed gently on his chin, lifting his head; Remus’ eyes were warm, deep like honey and filled with sweetness, pooling with tears, contrasted by the soft smile gracing the boy’s lips. The lips that were slowly moving closer to his own.

Sirius closed his eyes instinctively, his whole body relaxing and tensing up simultaneously as Remus’ slightly chapped lips came in contact with his own. Remus tasted of cigarettes, but with a subtle hint of chocolate and pure warmth. His lips were both unfamiliar and familiar, like de ja vu, it was as if Sirius had been here before, it was exactly where he was meant to be; the two boy’s lips danced against each other. Sirius gasped as he felt Remus’ tongue brush against his lower lip, he opened his mouth, deepening the kiss and drowning in the honey sweet comfort of Remus’ lips.

 

__Dangerous my arse._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some wolfstar action! It was nice to write some fluff rather than all this angst, either way, what did you think of this chapter? What did you think of Sirius noticing so much about Remus (I'll be honest, this bit killed me a little, ahhh the fluff)? What about Remus' little rendezvous with Kingsley Shacklebolt? Will Sirius ever find out about it? I'm not sure whether I want to continue this fic for much longer or if I'll end it in a few chapters, I have more ideas but I'm not sure, what do you think?  
> <3


	9. Pillows and Promises

Sirius’ lips were soft, like sinking a fork into the perfect slice of chocolate cake soft; or that once armchair in the back of the common room that was so old it was grey, not red. They were also familiar, not moving quite in time with Remus’ but moving like a discordant song, not in perfect harmony with Remus, but catchy, the kind of song that would get stuck in your head, leaving you singing for weeks. The music slowly faded, bringing Remus further and further away from the calming ecstasy he felt before, pulling him out of his favourite armchair and throwing him, face first, into the icy waters of reality.

“Shit.” Both boys voiced the same thought simultaneously as if the thought had been shared through locked lips. Sirius was looking up at Remus with heavy, hooded eyes, his grey eyes swirling with emotions like storm clouds, a mixture of lust, shock and fear were in his eyes, a gentle smirk played on his now swollen, pink lips. __Fear,__ the fear rang loudest in Remus’ mind; despite his monologue, Sirius was afraid of him. He couldn’t bear to break eye contact, if he did, he was certain the brief moment between them would be shattered, reality would crash down on them and Sirius would remember that he had kissed a __monster,__ a __liar.__ Remus was certain it would all go wrong, if his life thus far had been anything to go by, everything would inevitably collapse and crumble around him.

“Shit,” Remus repeated, tearing his eyes away from Sirius’. “Shit.” His mind was spinning, torn between going __fuck it,__ and kissing Sirius again and again and again, uncaring, throwing his fears aside. But louder than this, was his own fear. His father’s words were inescapable, loud and intrusive, __not a real human, a dangerous monster,__ he couldn’t break free from their clutches on him, they held him back, his doubts were louder than any hope he felt. “That was a really bad idea, wasn’t it?”

Sirius frowned, every possible emotion crossed Remus’ features, “Well I mean, actually-”

“No. No, you’re right. Very, __very,__ bad idea.” Remus ran his hands through his hair, beginning to pace back and forwards, the floorboards in the dorm were faded and worn in one spot, frequented by Remus - often while plotting and planning for the Marauders’ pranks. The floorboards creaked, the only sound filling their dorm, Remus watched from the corner of his eye as Sirius worried his bottom lip, trying not to focus on how much pinker and more swollen they were than before the kiss.

Remus Lupin was many things, but impulsive was not one of them. While he did have his momentary lapses of judgement, these tended to occur more frequently around Sirius Black, his actions were often planned out just enough that they wouldn’t hint towards his lycanthropy. He never allowed himself to look too dangerous, lest anyone caught on. This being said, Remus was still far more impulsive than Sirius - despite appearances; Sirius’ actions were all perfectly calculated and orchestrated, even though they seemed reckless and unruly. However, like Remus, Sirius was prone to lapses of judgement too, and they occurred far more frequently than his own, and thus were smaller in scale. But Remus’ lapses in judgement were few and far between when they did occur, they were __big.__ So when Remus Lupin kissed Sirius Black, he was certain that it far exceeded a simple ‘lapse of judgement’.

“Moony-” Sirius smiled nervously, the fear in his eyes was gone, immediately replaced by hope. “Moony, Moony, Moony…” Sirius stepped closer to Remus with every repetition of his name until he was face to face with the taller boy. “How many times must I tell you? I’m not afraid of you.” Remus grinned back at Sirius, unable to stay straight-faced, especially with the boy’s body pressed so close to his. Sirius’ warmth balanced out the biting cold Remus had almost forgotten he had been feeling. “I’m not afraid of this either,” Sirius smirked, leaning up to kiss Remus; Remus’ eyes widened, all of the confidence he had before had faded away, Sirius’ lips seemed alien and unfamiliar: so unlike Remus’.

__That’s because you’re not a real human,__ Remus’ thoughts interjected, causing him to flinch, recoiling instinctively from Sirius’ lips.

“What are you two-? Oh. Ew. Please stop.” James laughed, strutting into the dorm room, his broom thrown over one shoulder. He barely batted an eye at the fact that his two friends were seconds away from kissing. He didn’t notice how Remus had flinched away from Sirius, or the way he grabbed a jumper and his pack of cigarettes and darted out of the room. He was only pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Sirius cursing loudly and became aware of how more things than usual were floating in the air and smashing against the walls.

\-----------

“FUCK!!” Sirius kicked the corner of his bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in his foot. “You’ve got to be fucking-” His words were drowned out by the sounds of books crashing against the walls. The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black were well known for their powerful, powerful magic, and Sirius Black was no exception to this rule. His more volatile, emotional moments left the air thick with magic, crackling and buzzing, sending the nearest objects flying against walls, spontaneously burning into flames and shattering into tiny pieces.

James flinched, barely missing the Potions textbook that zoomed past his face, “What is __wrong?”__ He cried, continuing to dodge flying socks and books and quills. He had managed to extinguish Remus’ bedpost and get hit in the face by an errant pair of underwear he later identified to be Peter’s before Sirius had managed to calm himself enough to form a somewhat clear response.

“It was all going so __well!__ ” Sirius groaned, sinking down to lie on the floor, James had lost count of a number of times he had found Sirius in that position, usually after receiving a letter from someone in his family. He knew this had to be bad. “I don’t know where I went wrong! I spoke to him, I said what we had planned-”

“You used __Witch Weekly’s: How to Make Them Love You In 7 Easy Steps?”__ James’ eyes lit up if that article had somewhat worked on Remus, then maybe…

“No!” Sirius sprung up, ignoring the shoe that had just crashed into the wall, “That article is bullshit.” He mumbled.

“Then… what happened exactly?”

“I told him the whole ‘I’m not afraid of you, you’re cute look at all the things I notice about you’ speech and he kissed me and-”

“ _ _He__ kissed __you?”__

“ _ _Yes,__ and then it was fine and then he started talking about how much of a bad idea it was and then I told him I didn’t regret it and went to kiss him and he __flinched!__ He flinched, Jamie, and then he just left and __fuck!”__

James frowned, watching as Sirius shrunk further and further into himself, the magic in the air grew heavy and stifling Sirius’ sadness and insecurity weighing in on every particle of magic lingering outside of him. James groaned, feeling the weight of him resting on his shoulders. He knew this feeling. Sirius had been like this before, at the end of every term before he would have to go home, after being attacked by someone in his family, the day Tracie Winters had called him “another crazy Black” and broken up with him. This sadness was reserved only for his family, James had never seen Sirius so beaten up by being rejected by someone before. The boy so often hid it, made it seem like he was all confidence; except for when he was around James. James and Sirius were like brothers, and in that moment, a small, wordless piece of brotherly communication had occurred between them, James knew what he had to do. He knew Sirius’ own insecurities would get in the way of his ever resolving things with Remus, just as he knew Remus’ own pride would prevent him from opening up to Sirius. So he decided in that moment, this was a job for James Potter, Problem Solver Extraordinaire. He wouldn’t let his friends beat themselves up over this, so he did what came naturally to him, he took care of Sirius, and formulated a plan.

“C’mon Pads, lets get you off this cold floor and into bed, I’ll get you some muggle candy and we’ll come up with a way to fix this, okay?” James’ voice was soft, he rested a hand on his friends’ shoulder, waiting for him to respond. For a few minutes, he barely received more than a grunt in response, until Sirius rolled round to look at him, his eyes visibly frowning.

“I don’t know, Jamie. I don’t think I can fix this one, I think I’ve just fucked everything right up, y’know?” Sirius’ voice was emotionless, but still he lifted himself off of the floor, his posture reminiscent of some weaker version of his composure around the Blacks. “And honestly, even if I can fix this, I don’t know if I deserve it. Remus is so much better than I am… he shouldn’t have to put up with me.”

“Bullshit.” James led Sirius back to the bed, his eyes burning with determination, “That is absolute bullshit. Sirius Orion Black, you are the second coolest bloke I know, myself being the coolest, of course. You escaped the bloody Blacks! You’ re smart, and honestly not that hard on the eyes, you’re my brother, you totally deserve this! Remus doesn’t know how lucky he’ll be to have you. None of that, we’re gonna figure this out, ‘kay? I mean, if I gave up, how would I have gotten my lovely Lily Pad to love me like she does?”

Sirius’ frown wavered, something close to a smile playing on his lips, “Prongs, she doesn’t love you, you wanker,”

“Au contrare! She didn’t hex me today once!” James said, his smiled growing ever wider; he was more than willing to highlight his own romantic failings if it gave Sirius even the briefest reprise from his own worries, “I’m telling you mate, it’s love.”

“Whatever you say, Prongsie. So what’s the plan?”

\-----

The Astronomy Tower was eerily quiet at night, only the sounds of the wind and the occasional noise from the Forbidden Forest or the groan of the Whomping Willow could be heard. From here the night sky seemed endless, constellations spotting and covering the inky sky like breadcrumbs. It was bitterly cold, and even under three layered jumpers Remus was not safe from the biting, icy winds. The sun would be coming up soon, and the horizon was beginning to lighten, glowing like a pale pink warmth against a cold sea of black. Remus shivered in the wand light, his mind racing, running laps of the castle like an over excited child. __I kissed Sirius,__ he thought, barely able to comprehend that simple fact, unwilling to even give the other, far more complicated thoughts the time of day until he knew this one could be sorted out. He didn’t regret it, but he did regret it. He was torn, somewhere between self-loathing and blinding joy, because Sirius kissed him back! And Sirius tried to kiss him again. __But you ran,__ an errant thought interjected, reminding him of every reason he could come up with to hate himself and his actions.

Suddenly, kissing Sirius seemed like the worst possible idea he could have come up with, when faced with the reality of who he really was and what the world really thought of him, he felt selfish for even attempting to pursue any sort of a relationship with anyone, let alone someone as amazing as Sirius. Part of him knew that Sirius didn’t care what he was, what he turned into; but louder than this was the harsh reality that he would eventually leave Hogwarts and be faced with the prejudices of the world around him. And Sirius would just be dragged along for the ride. He didn’t want Sirius to resent him when things inevitably went to shit. He didn’t want to be the reason Sirius faced difficulties in life, he wanted to be the thing that made everything easier when Sirius’ life was hard. And he knew he couldn’t do that.

He was yanked out of his thoughts by the sound of someone moving up the stairs. Remus wasn’t too worried, Filch never came up to the Astronomy Tower, it was always the job of the prefects. He knew none of them would give him any trouble. He groaned, aware of the sound growing louder and louder, the person was getting closer. He sniffed the air, his senses where naturally heightened, his lycanthropy bore some advantages, despite turning him into a monster once a month. Warm, woody skin and a slight rosy perfume filled his nose, __Lily.__ Remus sighed deeply, lighting a cigarette and hoping that Lily would give up on whatever drive brought her to the astronomy tower.

“Remus John Lupin you’re smoking like a chimney these days,” Lily’s voice broke through the peaceful quiet of the night, it seemed far to loud in comparison to the sleeping castle and the thriving forest.

“Lovely to see you too, Lils,” Remus replied, forcing a smile as she moved to sit next to him, Lily simply rolled her eyes in response, taking the cigarette from between Remus’ lips and putting it out, receiving a scandalised “Hey!” in response.

“You and your friends have been miserable for weeks now, what is the matter with you all?” Lily asked, staring at Remus intently.

“Wow, you really don’t beat around the bush do you?” Remus snorted, attempting to feign indifference, flattered that Lily noticed the change in their dynamic and cared enough to investigate why, rather than just allowing the rumour mill to answer all of her questions. Lily looked at him with a blank and unimpressed expression, seeing through his façade immediately. Remus sighed, “Things have been… complicated. So I felt that the best way to deal with that would just to… well, give everyone some space?”

“Are you asking me that or telling me that?” Lily asked, raising one eyebrow, “Remus, you can tell me y’know, you’d probably save yourself a hell of a lot of time if you just came out with it. Is this about Kingsley?”

“...Shacklebolt? What about him?”

“Well people were saying that the two of you… y’know…” Remus barked out a genuine laugh, unable to believe what he was hearing; it seemed he wasn’t exempt from people’s musings and mutterings about what led t the downfall of the Marauders.

“That was nothing, completely unrelated,” He said, still chuckling, unable to understand how anyone could believe someone like __Kingsley Shacklebolt__ could be responsible for any of this.

“So you two actually…?” Remus nodded in response, shrugging off Lily’s incredulous look.

“Irrelevant. Forget about it, I should probably be going in anyways, and don’t you have duty Miss Prefect?” Remus attempted to get up, glad for the brief reprise from the inevitable interrogation from Lily, but it seemed he was not going to escape so easily, Lily had one hand firmly grasped around his wrist and a face like thunder.

“Sit down. You’re telling me what is the matter. Now.” Remus knew that Lily was not one to argue with, so sat back down, running his hands through his hair absent mindedly. He began from the beginning, telling Lily of how he liked Sirius and had felt that way since the summer, even when he was with Gideon. Every mention of someone who had once been a sexual partner of his was met with a wide-eyed look, accompanied with a raised eyebrow. But Lily never once interrupted, listening as Remus recounted his every interaction with Sirius, how the pair grew closer and closer. She even listened, refusing to do some much as breathe as Remus recounted the night of the eclipse. Lily knew about his lycanthropy, she had actually figured out far before any of the Marauders but never questioned or confronted him, assuming he would simply tell her when he felt comfortable and no sooner. She frowned, looking visibly upset as Remus told her about his father, the things he had said about werewolves, how Remus felt that nothing he did would ever separate him from those words, from that reality, however harsh. He told her about the kiss, about how Sirius had seemed so keen to kiss him back, about how he flinched away, fleeing the common room and attempting to run away from his thoughts too. Lily listened throughout, offering a gentle hand on top of his throughout.

The sun had risen by the time Lily and Remus re-entered the Common Room, silent and unspeaking. The cotton candy pinks and soft, gentle oranges of the sky had punctuated Remus’ story as the sky had grown brighter. The two entered the room before each turning to go to their separate dorms, sharing in a silent goodbye. Remus entered the dorm room wordlessly, opening the door and moving into the room silently, hoping not to wake anyone in the dorm. Peter’s snores rang quietly through the air, but all else was silent. Remus climbed into bed, thankful for the weekend. He closed his eyes and his whole body slowly relaxed into the mattress, the duvet snuggling him into a peaceful sleep. His eyes flickered shut and his senses relaxed, fading into nothing.

He slept, his mind put at ease by a simple promise in Lily’s soft voice.

“We’ll work this all out, and you can be happy.”


	10. Fights and Biros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting so late! I haven't had a laptop until yesterday and writer's block has been seriously kicking my ass.

“Hey.. Evans?”

The Gryffindor Common room was near empty, the final few stragglers populated the edges of the room, hunched over desks and surrounded by massive tomes and seemingly endless rolls of parchment. Lily was sat on the floor near the back of the room, James had almost walked past her but for the slightly too loud groan of frustration she let out as he walked by. Between prefect duties, extra curriculars, tutoring younger students and James’ own Quidditch practice, Lily had been almost impossible to catch, let alone speak to.

“What do you want, Potter? I’m busy.” Lily snapped, turning her frown away from the parchment in front of her and towards James.

“I wanted to ask you about Remus,” James said, attempting to put a relaxed grin on his face and slumping down onto the floor next to Lily. He had never asked her why she always insisted on studying the floor, but had always found it strangely endearing. Lily glared up at him, putting her quill down with slightly too much force before changing position to face him more.

“What about him?” She asked, her tone still tight and tense from frustration.

“He talks to you right? Well okay, I know he does. He won’t talk to me properly, it’s all niceties and stuff, y’know? And then he’s also almost never in the dorm, not until we’ve all fallen asleep that is. So I just wondered. What does he talk to you about?” James stumbled over his words, only slightly distracted by the way Lily bit her lip before responding. He shoved these thoughts to one side though, he was doing this for his friends first.

Lily frowned at him, “Maybe he doesn’t __want__  you to know? I can’t just tell you without his permission. Why don’t you just ask him?” She snapped, her tone slightly too sharp for James’ liking.

“I’ve __tried!__ That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” James ran his hands through his hair, frowning back at Lily, who’s expression was turning to something more angry with every syllable James spoke.

“So you just __assumed__ that I would tell you straight away?”

“No! I’m asking you to tell me, if you didn’t want to you could have just said no!” James said, raising his voice above what would be acceptable for such a quiet room, he ignored the stares he was receiving from the last few people in the room, instead resolving to stare Lily down.

“Fine then! No!” Lily raised her voice louder, deciding equally to glare at James, with an intensity akin to a few thousand suns.

James continued to stare at Lily, unwilling to give in or relent, he still wasn’t quite sure why they had started arguing, or how this always happened when the two attempted to talk about anything remotely serious. Lily’s glare wavered momentarily, forcing James out of his stubborn stupor, he hesitated, his frown disappearing and turning into a strange, slightly pained expression. Lily’s expression mirrored his almost perfectly but instead of indignant stubbornness, her eyes lit up with silent humour which rose and bubbled to the surface before she broke out into a loud bout of laughter.

“Hey! Why are you laughing?!” James shrieked, slightly too loud, trying not to focus on the responsive laughter forcing its way out of his own mouth, however far less elegantly that Lily’s own.

                   The pair were reduced to a spluttering sobbing mess in minutes, tears of laughter streaming down their faces.

“Why- why are we laughing?” James forced out between hiccups.

“Why were we arguing?” Lily asked at the same time, moments before the two started giggling again. “We’re ridiculous,” she added as an afterthought.

“You- you were s-so mad,” James chuckled, slowly composing himself. Lily simply snorted in response, shuffling away from him to sit properly. James’ eyes widened, suddenly aware of the way Lily had draped herself over him in her laughter, how she had been sitting so close she was almost on his lap. He felt his face heating up slightly and immediately tried to control it before turning back towards Lily.

 

“So… what exactly did you want to know?” Lily asked after fully composing herself.

James snorted before responding, “Remus likes Sirius back, right?”

Lily’s eyes widened microscopically, taken aback by James’ straightforwardness. She nodded, raising an eyebrow as James leaned back, looking thoughtful.

“What’s he so afraid of then?” He asked, Lily tore her eyes away from him, biting down on her lip.

“He thinks he’s a monster.” She responded.

“Merlin, not this shit again.” James frowned, unaware of the shocked look Lily directed at him, “When we found about about him back in second year he avoided us for a good month because he thought we would hate him for it. Convenient though, have us plenty of time to- nevermind, anyways, we need to get him out of that slump if we’re gonna get them together, right Evans?” James turned his head to face hers, raising an eyebrow in a silent invitation for her agreement.

“We’re getting them together? I mean- yeah. Plenty of time to what? What’s the plan?” Lily sputtered and James grinned, both at the salvo of questions and the way she flushed slightly while she stumbled through sentences.

“You know we could have reached this point twenty minutes ago if you hadn’t been mean to me,” James grinned, shrugging off the weak glare she shot at him, “Just saying. But yes, plan. Lock them in a broom closet and make them talk?”

“Remus could rip the door off with one hand, James.” Lily corrected, frowning at the invisible thoughts whirring around the air in front of her.

“True. Lock them in a-”

“We aren’t locking them anywhere.”

“Fine. How about we just yell at them until they talk?”

“Merlin, I see why you’re single.”

“It’s within your power to change that, Evans.”

“Don’t be an ass, Potter, you were doing so well. And stop winking at me.”

“Sorry. Okay, how about-”

 

* * *

 

 

James walked into the dorm later that night grinning ear to ear. He had never had such a relaxed conversation with Lily, even though the two had been on speaking terms since the beginning of the year; above that, they now had a sure fire way to fix Sirius and Remus’ not-a-relationship. The dorm was quiet, Peter’s curtains were drawn and small, low snores came from within. Sirius’ curtains were also drawn, but James knew by the faint wandlight coming from behind the curtains that the boy was not asleep. Remus’ bed remained empty, the sheets were still tucked in perfectly, a sure-fire sign that it hadn’t been touched since he left the dorm that morning. James frowned, settling down onto his bed, preparing to stay awake until Remus arrived in the dorm.

The hours ticked by and James frowned, sighing deeply; there were only so many times one person can read the same Quidditch magazine before it all became too much. He groaned, shuffling around his bed in a desperate attempt to get comfortable; eventually, he gave up altogether, retreating to the bathroom to splash water on his face in a desperate attempt to stay awake.

“For fucks sake,” James re-entered the dorm to see Remus’ bed curtains shut with no light coming from within. Somehow, he had managed to sneak into the room and into bed in the thirty seconds James had spent in the bathroom. __Nice one, James,__ he thought, frowning and getting back into bed, __already fucked up the first part of the plan.__

 

* * *

 

“Black,” Lily said in greeting, ignoring the deep, long-suffering sigh Sirius let out upon seeing her.

“Evans,” He drawled, sounding more like a Black than she had ever heard from him, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” His face expressing the very opposite of joy.

“You’ve got Care of Magical Creatures next, right?” Lily forced a smile, ignoring the bad mood Sirius had been in for the past week.

“Memorising my timetable,” Sirius said, smirking sarcastically, “How sweet.” Lily rolled her eyes, ignoring the blatantly unimpressed tone Sirius was using on her, instead beginning to walk in step with him down the stairs to the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

“So…” She began, immediately unsure of what to say, despite the rigourous planning with James the night before.

“Look Evans,” Sirius stopped walking, instead turning to face Lily, “This is real cute how much effort you’re putting in, but whatever you need to say can you just say it and save us both the effort?”

Lily was taken aback by Sirius’ tone; she knew how he often was when he was in bad moods: brooding and silent but more than willing to swear at and hex everything with a pulse within two feet of him. But this mood was something foreign, Sirius seemed so much more like a member of the Black family than she had ever known he was even capable of, everything from his stiff but perfect posture and unimpressed drawl screamed aristocrat. She had never seen him behave like this and frankly, it was concerning. It seemed that his problems with Remus had affected him more than she could have ever anticipated.

“D’you know what? Forget about it,” Lily said, admitting defeat. She knew she would never get the real heart to heart conversation she had planned on from Sirius. She frowned, watching as the boy picked up the pace, walking faster towards his lesson, even though it would undoubtedly make him early - which Sirius Black never was.

 _ _Phase one failed,__ Lily thought, frowning and picking up the pace to get to class.

 

* * *

 

“We need to change the plan,” James said.

“This won’t work,” Lily sighed at the exact same time. “Sirius won’t talk to me, it’s like he hates me or something. Which is really strange because he always acts like he loves me which is why I thought this would work but I guess not, he completely blew me off-”

“Evans. You’re rambling, relax.” James interrupted, placing a hand on Lily’s shoulder, not ignoring the casual display of affection, willing himself not to blush. Lily smiled up at him, her green eyes sparkling; __No, not sparkling,__ James thought, __burning.__ She was immediately less upset than she had appeared to be just moments before, all stress and worry on her face replaced by pure determination. Her brows were furrowed in concentration as she pulled out a small, strange pink book and a blue stick. She threw open the book with as much determination as one could open a tiny, glittery book and began scribbling things down with the stick.

Lily looked up from her writing briefly to see James’ awestruck and confused expression. She chuckled, suddenly aware of how strange she must look to someone with no knowledge of anything muggle.

“Notebook,” She said, holding up the pink book and grinning as James’ eyes widened with fascination, “Biro,” she added, repeating the gesture with the pen, smiling wider before turning back to her frantic scribblings.

“What are you writing though?” James asked, looking over her shoulder.

“I’m amending the plan, it’s not going to work how we had it.” She responded, continuing to write.

 

Once again, James Potter and Lily Evans found themselves sat on the floor in front of a fireplace in the common room. And once again the last few stragglers began to peter out, leaving them alone in the room, Lily jotting down notes and ideas while James lay, his tall figure sprawled out across the floor, pitching idea after idea, nodding in agreement to Lily’s ideas. The pair worked perfectly together, their brains working in almost perfect synchronism, even when they stopped their harmonious work to break out into another argument about something minute. Lily explained more muggle things to James, introducing him to highlighters and crayons, emptying out her small, battered pencil case for his enjoyment, smiling as his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was strangely hard to write! I'm trying to develop James and Lily's personalities a little bit more and I really like the idea of them arguing all the time? I hope the dialogue doesn't seem too forced or awkward, it's not really my strong suit, but I think I'm improving a little. This is quite a short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! Let me know what you think, comments are more than appreciated!


	11. Plans and Interventions

Peter Pettigrew was uncomfortable. A dispute between friends is enough for anyone to feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but when one had absolutely no idea what started it, uncomfortable doesn’t begin to do it justice. Frankly, Peter had no clue why Remus was ignoring Sirius in particular, or why he was almost never in the dorms, or the common room, or anywhere where anyone was. Nor did Peter know why Sirius was walking around like someone had shoved his broomstick up his ass. When he wasn’t being silent and miserable looking, he was engaging in what can only be called _niceties,_ the kind of social interaction based purely off of obligation and without any desire to actually engage.

So Peter Pettigrew was uncomfortable, moreso than ever when he found himself sat at a small table in the library next to James Potter and Lily Evans, the most unlikely pair he had ever laid eyes upon.

“And so now Sirius feels bad because Remus basically blew him off,” James finished, looking at Peter expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something.

“Wait… Remus gave Sirius a blowjob? Where does that come in?” Peter asked, barely able to follow the story, it all seemed far too complicated for his liking; he shuddered, attempting to force the mental image of Sirius and Remus-

“No! No no no no no, that is __not__ what he meant,” Lily forced out, looking about as comfortable with the notion as Peter felt: not very. “He meant that Remus rejected him. Merlin.”

Peter nodded, gradually starting to piece together the story, however disjointed in may have been told - James and Lily are not good storytellers, at least not together; they constantly disputed each others retelling, forming a jumbled and impossible-to-follow mess. He tried not to focus on the expectant stares he was receiving from the two people sat opposite to him, instead trying to come to terms with the idea of two of his best friends being together (while also trying not to imagine it in too much detail, __curse my bloody imagination).__

__

“Okay. Remus and Sirius. Alright, that’s fine.” He said, choosing not to achnowledge the sighs of relief from across the table. “So what do you want me to do about this?” He asked the one question he had been dreading the response to since the pair began their story. Sirius and Remus were, for all intents and purposes, impossible to be around; between them, they were surely creating enough negative energy to put a few hundred boggarts out of jobs.

“Get them in the same room,” The pair said simultaneously, before stopping to glare at each other.

Peter would have rolled his eyes if it weren’t for his complete shock at their request. “You’re joking, right?” He groaned when they both shook their heads solemnly, “That’s impossible! I almost never see Remus outside of lessons because Merlin knows where he gets off to! What’s worse is he’s hid the bloody map! And Sirius! He’s impossible!”

James and Lily looked at him apologetically, clearly having already thought through all of these factors, yet still deciding to give the impossible task to Peter. He groaned, clearly aware that neither party were willing to change their minds.

“What’s the point of getting them in the same room anyways? They won’t talk and Remus could rip the door off it’s hinges with one hand,” Peter said, watching as Lily glanced smugly at James momentarily, it seemed she had had the same idea.

“We aren’t __locking them in__ , we’re staging an intervention.” James said, as if it were the most obvious solution.

“You’re staging an intervention.” Peter deadpanned, unable to believe what he was hearing, “All those nights of planning and __this__ is what you’ve come up with?”

James looked at him, shock written all over his face, “You noticed?”

“Did I notice you sneaking into the dorm at three AM every morning for the past few days with a shit-eating grin? Yes. I noticed,” He said, smirking internally at James and Lily’s equally surprised expressions. They both had seemingly underestimated his perceptiveness, as people were wont to do, but Peter Pettigrew was very observant, and noticed things most people didn’t. Like how Lily’s eyes had strayed over to stare at James 63 times since they had started talking, and that James was in for more of a chance than any of them had ever thought.

“But really, an intervention? I expected better, especially from you, Evans.” Peter said. Lily frowned in response, looking as if she were attempting to find an excuse, but to no avail. “I’ll do it though, but you owe me at least three months worth of Honeydukes after this.” He added, looking to James.

“Three months?” James whined, looking pleadingly at Peter, “But you eat so much!”

Peter grinned, making brief eye contact with Lily, who flushed, knowing she had been caught staring at James again. “Better not fuck up this intervention, eh?”

 

James groaned again, slumping onto the table, mock-glaring at the two laughing people around him.

“The map is in Remus’ bag, Pete,” He said, when they had finally gathered their composure.

Peter looked at him, completely stricken, __this is a suicide mission,__ he thought. “How the fuck am I supposed to get it out of his bag?” He asked, staring intently at James as he started to fidget.

James shrugged, “Take it out when he’s sleeping?” He offered, rightfully doubting his own plan.

“James, he is a __werewolf,__ he’ll smell my hands on his bag!”

“Wear gloves?” James offered again, Peter groaned, this was an even more feeble suggestion than before.

“Fuck that, you’re getting it out of his bag.”

“But Peter!”

“There’s no way, this is enough of a suicide mission as it is!” Peter said, grinning when James finally agreed, slumping back into his previous position, chin pressed hard against the table.

“Wait.. what’s this ‘map’?” Lily asked.

 ~0~

Remus Lupin came to Hogwarts with one single goal. To get the best grades he possibly could, and leave. This goal was driven into him from the day Dumbledore arrived at his house with his letter, he was warned against making friends. The Pureblood kids would hate him immediately and the Muggle born kids would be taught to hate him. He was told Hogwarts would only be safe for him if he let it be, and it would only be safe for others if he made it so. __Isolation is crucial,__ his father had told him while he stood at Platform 9 3/4, __don’t risk letting people know you, you’re far too dangerous,__ he had said. And so, six years in, Remus Lupin decided to finally take his father’s advice, __isolation is key.__

Or at least that was the plan until he found himself cornered by a strangely enthusiastic Peter Pettigrew one morning. Remus had perfected his routine of leaving the dorm early enough that he could escape before anyone awoke but not so early he would be losing out on sleep. __But of course Peter figured that out,__ Remus thought, he knew how observant Peter was and that there was no way of escaping it.

“Remus!” Peter called from the top of the dormitory stairs, catching Remus moments before he could escape through the common room. Remus sighed, turning to see what Peter wanted and immediately being shocked by how quickly Peter had made it down the stairs to talk to him. It was extremely out of character for Peter to being moving any faster than a slow crawl before midday, let alone before breakfast.

“Remus, can you help me study History of Magic tonight?” Peter asked, continuing to talk over Remus’ barely formed excuses, “Binns is going to fail me otherwise and I __know__ you’re the smart one at it. I mean, remember than time you covered his first year lesson because-”

“I remember.” Remus interjected, reminded of Sirius, who had used the same example to evidence Remus’ ‘ _ _unending goodness’__. Remus frowned, knowing he wouldn’t really be able to deny Peter this.

 

Peter Pettigrew was Remus’ first introduction to friends at Hogwarts. The journey on the Hogwarts express had been an uncomfortable one for both of them, Remus weighed down by his secret and his father’s words and Peter weighed down by far too much chocolate. He had bought too much from the trolley witch and ‘couldn’t possibly eat it all alone’; Remus later found this to be pure bullshit, after watching Peter obliterate an entire chocolate cake at the entrance feast. The pair had bonded over an unhealthy obsession for all things sweet, primarily chocolatey, as well as a sort of camaraderie and fellowship due to them both being somewhat vertically challenged. Six years later, despite Remus having grown almost two feet since that day and Peter having barely grown at all, their friendship remained strong, if not stronger, than it was back then.

 

“Sure, Pete, when do you need me?” Remus asked, sighing internally at his own weakness. So much for __isolation is key,__ for following the advice and __keeping Hogwarts safe.__ But Remus knew he couldn’t turn Peter down, however small of a thing studying History of Magic may be, he felt he owed it to the smaller boy.

“Like this evening? How about seven? In the dorm.” Remus frowned, hoping Peter could have asked to study in the library or the common room or __anywhere__ that Sirius wasn’t.

“Don’t worry,” Peter said, seemingly reading Remus’ mind, “Sirius and James are going flying tonight. Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I hope you work it out,” Peter smiled reassuringly before turning away and bouncing up the stairs.

 

Remus smiled softly, grateful for friends like Peter and thinking that __maybe isolation isn’t key.__

~0~

Peter rushed back into the dorm, casting a quick __tempus__ before climbing back into bed, aiming to catch up on some of the sleep he had missed out on while enacting James’ plan. He had exactly one hour and six minutes to sleep before he would need to wake up again and exchange __niceties__ with Sirius, convince him to come to the dorm and seven and not try and hex all of his hair of in the process.

__James bloody Potter you had better not fuck this up,__ he thought before drifting back to sleep.

 

Peter was woken up one hour and seven minutes later by a loud thud, a louder groan and a myriad of swear words. Sirius was awake. While predictable, the disruption of his sleep was not pleasant, Peter groaned, slowly rolling out of bed and landing with a thud on the cold floor of the dorm. He glanced around the room, watching the usual morning chaos ensue; James was hopping around on one leg, attempting to pull his trousers on while standing, Sirius was stood in front of the mirror, already with a pissed off and uncaring expression on his face, fixing his hair into a ‘just crawled out of bed’ tousled look.

Peter frowned, dismissing the futile hope that Sirius would maybe be compliant this morning; that maybe he would spent at least a couple minutes that morning without frowning. No such luck.

 

“Sirius?” Peter walked over to the mirror, comb in hand, trying to act casual and unaffected by the single raised eyebrow Sirius was sending his way.

“Yes?” Was all Peter got in response, but he would not be undeterred.

“I got sent some firewhiskey from my brother and James and I had planned on drinking it tonight, you coming?” Peter asked, using all of his strength to not begin fidgeting, as he so often would when he was lying. Sirius stopped messing with his hair, turning to Peter and grinning in a way he hadn’t seen for weeks; it was almost possible for Peter to forget how sullen Sirius’ mood had been for the past while, even so, there was something in Sirius’ eyes that didn’t quite match the grin gracing his lips.

“Definitely,” Sirius grinned, “I’ll be in about 7, that good?”

Peter smiled despite himself, __this was so much easier than I thought,__ “Perfect. Don’t be late or we’ll drink it all,” He said, turning away from the mirror and setting himself the new task of getting himself some breakfast, lest he spontaneously combust, destroy everything or some other cataclysmic event that could inevitably be caused by his hangriness.

~0~

By 6:30pm, James, Lily and Peter were sat, scattered around the dorm room in different positions and different points of discomfort. James looked moments away from bursting into flames, which Peter put down to a strange mix of anxiety and sexual frustration: he was thirty minutes from attempting to reconcile a friendship and, ideally, form a relationship, however at the same time, the very girl he had been completely enamoured with since second year was leaning against him on his bed reading a book. The girl in question looked far too relaxed to really be calm, she was leant against James, using his perfectly (and unusually) tense and upright posture as a cushion while ‘reading’ some muggle book she had attempted to explain seconds before. But Peter couldn’t help but notice how she was repeatedly turning pages back and forth, not absorbing a single word.

Peter was fluctuating between uncaring comfort and high-strung nerves, largely because of the tension in the room and the anticipation of finally, __finally,__ being able to live in comfort in his own dorm room. The minutes dragged by, extended and seeming painfully long largely because of everyone’s own impatience. At 6:52, Sirius skulked into the dorm, glancing over at Lily sitting on the bed but choosing not to comment on it.

“I was promised firewhiskey?” He said, slumping down next to Peter on the floor. Peter swallowed, looking up at James in something akin to panic; he had no firewhiskey and had eight minutes to stall before Remus arrived, inevitably perfectly punctual. He got up, moving towards his trunk and pretending to search through, looking for the ‘firewhiskey’ he had promised Sirius.

“Where were you after History of Magic?” James asked, receiving a grateful look from Peter for his attempts to stall further. Sirius began to recount his time spent in the library, not studying at all. The retelling was, in Peter’s opinion, far too dramatic for a relatively uninteresting time spent doing absolutely nothing; but he was grateful for the solace while he waited for more time to pass.

It was 6:59 when the door to the dorm swung open, revealing a very confused looking and extremely pissed off Remus. He looked around the dorm, taking in Sirius’ reclining form, Lily and James sat on the bed, watching him intently, Peter grimaced as Remus’ frown grew deeper and deeper, before eventually settling into a completely expressionless face that the Marauders were all too familiar with. Remus only looked like this when he was really, really angry.

“What the fuck is this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Two chapters in two days! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I've been experimenting with other points of view to make the story more interesting, let me know what you think. I'm starting to like Peter alot more, I think he's an interesting guy. How do you think Remus and Sirius will take their 'intervention'?


	12. Firewhiskey and Successes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a tumblr! I figured it would be a place for me to keep you all up to date on the story, check it out: chothocolate.tumblr.com

The Marauder’s dorm room and everyone in it were far too quiet for Remus’ liking. Especially when they _should_ have been answering the question he had so eloquently and delicately pitched at them. He wanted an answer, and refused to take one step further into the room until he got it.

“What the fuck is this?” He repeated, this time with words accompanied by a single raised eyebrow, for effect.

And it seemed that this effect had worked, as everybody in the room seemed to simultaneously come alive again, woken from the shocked, frozen stupor they were in moments before. Peter stood, moving things around his trunk weakly, making very little effort to search for what he was looking for; James and Lily were having a silent conversation which seemed to be very far from reaching an outcome, as their stares were growing more intense by the second. Remus frowned, shocked by how unsurprised he was by Lily’s presence in the dorm, the fact that she was even in the room should have come as a surprise, and the fact that she was sat unusually close to James should have been enough to turn Remus comatose. But instead he stood, unperturbed by her presence, instead wishing she would just answer his question.

He avoided looking at Sirius, forcibly setting his eyes to focus on anything but the shorter boy who was draped, irritatingly gracefully, on the floor by Peter’s bed, fiddling with the end of his hair which had, quite cruelly, been braided into possibly the most immaculate French braid Remus had laid eyes on. Of course this was not necessarily true, the braid was sloppy and uneven, looking as if it had been rushed or done under the influence of a heavy wind charm; several strands hung loose, particularly around the crown of his head. But it was this messiness that made it look so endearing, while most people would look something akin to ridiculous with hair that messy, it almost balanced Sirius out, making him look like something that could be stared out without permanently damaging the eyes with it’s blinding beauty. Messy hair made Sirius a sunny day with rose tinted glasses on. Soft and bright and beautiful and __God damn.__

Remus tore his eyes away from Sirius, dragging them towards James and Lily who, it seemed, had finally settled their silent dispute and were watching him intently. Lily elbowed James in the rib, coaxing him into speaking.

“We’re staging an intervention,” He said, ignoring the soft snorts that came from both Peter and Sirius in response. “Everyone here is sick of you and Sirius arguing so you aren’t leaving until you sort it out.”

Silence fell over the room once again, nobody seemed to know how exactly to respond.

Sirius finally broke the silence, speaking with a smirk plastered onto his face. “Merlin, was __this__  your master plan, Prongs?” He asked, tugging on the loose strands of hair around his face.

James glared at him, not responding, instead gesturing to Remus to sit at one of the beds. Remus sighed deeply, moving towards his own bed before stopping abruptly and throwing open his trunk, ignoring the confused stares from everyone else in the room. He fished around, finally letting out a quiet “aha!” and pulling out a bottle of firewhiskey.

“So that’s where that went!” Peter said in outrage, “I’ve been looking for that!”

“Sorry Pete, but I’m gonna need something seriously strong to get through this ‘intervention’” Remus responded, slumping down onto his bed and taking a swig of the firewhiskey before throwing the bottle to Sirius, simply nodding in response to the confused look the boy sent his way. Sirius gulped down some of the drink, wordlessly gesturing for James to begin.

“Uh. Okay. So,” James began, pushing his glasses up, “The two of you need to stop arguing. It’s bad.”

“Okayy,” Sirius and Remus said simultaneously.

“So we’re going to solve this. Remus, you know all about the conflict resolution process from prefect training, right?” Lily asked, turning to Remus and receiving a long suffering sigh in response. “I’m taking that as a yes. So we’re going to start simple. Sirius, can you please explain what started this? In as much detail as you can.”

“Oh sweet Merlin,” Sirius sighed, drinking more firewhiskey and rolling his eyes. Sirius tried not to notice the way a smirk played over Sirius’ lips as he spoke, the expression seeming so comfortable on Sirius’ face but so alien to Remus’ eyes. He had missed that look. He had missed the mischievous smiles and smirks and the quiet snorts and sniffs Sirius used to express when he was amused or unimpressed. Remus frowned, trying not to focus on Sirius’ expressions, or how happy he was to finally have the chance to see them again. Instead, he turned his focus back to James, who looked as if he were about to explode if he didn’t say what he wanted to.

“I think this shouldn’t be done under the influence of anything,” James finally said, prising the bottle out of Sirius’ unwilling hands. “We know how the both of you are when drunk, it’s kind of a recipe for disaster.” James pretended not to notice the faint snort emerging from Peter’s side of the room. The boy had long since given up pretending to search his trunk but was instead reclining on his bed, watching James and Lily fumble their way through their ‘intervention’.

“Okay, so Sirius, __tell us what started this in as much detail as possible,”__ Lily repeated, her tone getting more and more abrasive with every word. Remus rolled his eyes, his mood somewhere between admiration, amusement and irritation. Despite it’s obvious unsuccessfulness, it was obvious that James and Lily were really trying with this intervention, it was almost laughable. That said, Remus was becoming restless, feeling less and less up to engaging in this so called ‘intervention’, there were many far more interesting things he could be doing, though he was using all of his energy to __not think__ about any of those things.

The room fell silent, James and Lily were both staring at each other and gesticulating wildly, each prompting the other to break the silence and say something, __anything.__ Peter’s attention had drifted far, far away from the conversation at hand, instead focusing on a chocolate frog that he had found on his bed. Sirius’ eyes kept on flitting back and forth between Remus and the bottle of firewhiskey leaning against James’ thigh, from his place on the floor he had a full view of the awkwardness in the room. Remus groaned, unable to bear the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. Remus ran his hands through his hair, glancing at everyone in the room, though his eyes kept flitting back to Sirius’ reclining form, catching on the way his shirt lifted slightly on the left side, revealing a patch of pale skin. He licked his lips, sighing deeply as he became more and more antsy, fidgeting with the hemline of his robes once again.

“This.” Remus began, getting up from his spot on his bed, ignoring the confused looks he was receiving from James and Lily, “Is. Bullshit.” He finished, moving over to where Sirius was lying. He grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey from James’ bed before turning to grab Sirius’ wrist, pulling him up from the position he was lying in. Sirius looked at him, face written with confusion but with a flicker of excitement behind his eyes; he grinned when he realised that Remus was leading him towards the bathroom.

“Well, you heard the man,” Sirius grinned, allowing himself to led by Remus, “This is bullshit.” Wordlessly, Remus dragged Sirius into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him, leaving Peter, Lily and James alone in the room, watching the door in confusion.

Sirius’ head poked out from the door briefly, “Guess your plan worked after all Prongsie,” He said, grinning, “Intervention was so shit it - mmmh s-solved the problem all by itself, so-” He was cut off by Remus pulling him back into the room by his shirt, throwing the dorm room into complete silence.

“So was that a success?” Lily asked, mirroring James’ expression of confusion and pride, the pair had, for all intents and purposes, fixed Sirius and Remus’ relationship, albeit relying on their unsuccessful plan to carry them through. Their intervention truly had been a train-wreck, ultimately being ranked the most uncomfortable thirty minutes of their lives.

James turned to Lily, grinning like a kid of Christmas, “Definitely a success.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one this time, but I had to split it into two, the next chapter will definitely be longer! Let me know what you think


	13. Anger and Kisses

“Remus what are you-?” Sirius was silenced immediately by the crush of Remus’ lips on his own and the faraway sound of the bathroom door slamming shut. He groaned, leaning into the kiss and biting gently on Remus’ bottom lip, earning a seductive growl from Remus - a sound that went straight to his pants. Sirius whined as Remus pulled his lips away, feeling the sense of loss dissipate as they latched themselves onto his neck, kissing and biting in a way that was sure to leave marks.

Sirius grinned, drawing his attention away from Remus’ lips just long enough to stick his head out of the bathroom door, “Guess your plan worked after all, Prongsie, Intervention was so shit it-” He paused as a wave of pleasure rushed over him as Remus tugged down on his earlobe with his teeth, clearly keening for Sirius’ full attention again. “Mmmh s-solved the problem all by itself, so-” He was cut off by a sound that could only be described as a cross between an irritated groan and a lustful sigh and the feeling of Remus’ hand forcefully balling up the front of his shirt, pulling him back into the room and pressing his lips onto Sirius’ with added fervour.

__This is a bad idea,__ a small voice in Remus’ head said, immediately pushed to the side by Sirius’ hands roaming up and down Remus’ chest and the gentle touch of Sirius’ tongue on his bottom lip. He opened his mouth, giving Sirius entry and leaning further into the kiss. His mind went blank, his whole body completely taken over by the feeling of Sirius against him, but this silence didn’t last long. __This is a very, very bad idea,__ the voice repeated, louder this time, unwilling to be silenced; Remus groaned, more than aware of the truth of those words Remus slowly pulled his lips away from Sirius, immediately feeling the loss.

“This is a very, very bad idea,” He said, verbalising his thoughts and receiving a frown and an exasperated sigh from Sirius.

“Are you going to say that __every time__ we kiss?” Sirius asked, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

Remus frowned, unsure of how to respond, __he shouldn’t be kissing you at all,__ he thought, __it’s not safe.__ “Only the times when it is a bad idea,” He said, wincing at his own feeble response and the crestfallen look on Sirius’ face.

“So how many times do I have to kiss you and tell you it’s okay before you realise that it’s maybe __not__  such a bad idea?!” Sirius’ voice had raised in volume, and Remus was almost certain that James, Lily and Peter would be able to hear them from behind the door. He winced, feeling far too embarrassed to really say anything. His mind cleared more, and waves of embarrassment flooded him as he recounted his actions of the past few minutes; the way he had dragged Sirius’ into the bathroom, drawing so much attention to himself and inevitably making everything so much worse.

“I’m dangerous,” Remus muttered, knowing how feeble his voice sounded.

“You think I don’t fucking know that?!” Sirius yelled, beginning to pace, “I’m not an idiot Remus, werewolves are fucking dangerous! I get it! Fuck, do you really think I’ve ran with you every moon since third year and __not__  figured that out?! I __know__ the fucking risks, but has that stopped me yet?!” Sirius paused in his pacing, turning to Remus, eyes wild with emotion. Remus was dumbstruck, simply shaking his head in response, torn between wishing Sirius would stop talking and desperately wanting him to continue, to be right, to believe that Remus really was worth the risk. __But I’m not worth the risk,__ he thought.

“And you really think I’m worth the risk?” Remus asked, ignoring the frustrated ‘ _ _yes!’__ Sirius shot his way, “You say you’ve considered it, but __have you?__ Are you aware that there isn’t a single establishment in the whole of wizarding Britain who’ll hire me? Because if you can even manage to __tolerate__  me till the end of Hogwarts I’m just going to be dead weight! Or, and I’m sure __you__ know this one: __I’m a half-breed,__ the wizarding world hates me! As far as they’re concerned, I’m not a real wizard and the whole world would be better off if I and everyone like me were put down!”

“Remus,” Sirius began, looking at Remus, eyes filled with sympathy, “who told you that?”

Remus laughed humourlessly, too far gone to care about appearances. “My own dad! Ironic, isn’t it! That’s why I got bit, because my dad wrote a fucking article telling the whole of wizarding Britain how werewolves are vermin and scum and liars and murderers and would all be better off dead, because Merlin knows none of us will __ever__ contribute anything worthwhile to society.”

“And you believe any of that shit?” Sirius looked at Remus incredulously, his blood boiling.

“Yes, Sirius! Because in case you didn’t notice, I could have very easily killed you and everyone in this castle last moon! It’s really fucking easy to believe these things when you’ve spent your whole life being told them! And I really have! Before I even started this fucking school I was being briefed on how important it was I made __no friends,__ because everyone in the whole fucking world __hated me!!__ ”

“And you think I don’t know how that feels?! ‘You’re a disappointment, Sirius. You’re a stain on the bloodline, Sirius. You’re a waste of oxygen, Sirius. You should’ve just been drowned like an unwanted kitten, Sirius.’ Do you really think I don’t get it?” Sirius slumped down on the closed toilet seat, looking at Remus with sad eyes. Remus frowned, taken aback by Sirius’ unusual willingness to talk about his family and the horrifying reality of how he was treated. Remus’ mood sobered, he slid down onto the floor, sitting opposite to Sirius. The small bathroom did not make for a good sitting space, but the two boys were unfazed. Sirius lowered himself from the toilet seat, sitting against the opposite wall, grabbing the bottle of firewhiskey and taking a swig before passing it to Remus.

“I’m sorry,” Remus mumbled, drinking some of the firewhiskey and looking up at Sirius through his lashes, “Fuck, I’m so selfish. I didn’t even think-”

“It’s okay,” Sirius said, smiling softly, trying desperately to reassure Remus. He knew exactly how the boy would so often behave, he would turn in on himself, going quiet and doing everything in his power to avoid the situation if it meant facing his feelings.

Remus groaned, drinking more lots firewhiskey, still barely feeling a single drop of it in his system, __fucking werewolf metabolism,__ he thought, __the one time I actually want to get drunk off my head and I can’t__. Remus was not a talker. He was, and always had been the kind of person who would much rather keep his thoughts and feelings quiet and to himself than make a bit fuss. He avoided talking about his lycanthropy whenever it wasn’t completely necessary, just because he would rather keep quiet about it than draw any more attention to himself. He squirmed, sat in the cold half light against the icy floors of the bathroom there was nowhere he could escape to, nothing he could change the subject to and nobody to draw the attention away from him. Sirius’ stare was intense and unblinking, as if the boy were drinking in Remus’ every feature, he was laid bare under Sirius’ searching eyes, the only thing he could do was talk, which was, to Remus, far more terrifying than any grotesque or painful situation he could ever be put in.

But Remus was a Gryffindor, strong and brave of heart, and these were the words he kept repeating to himself over and over as he sighed deeply, bracing himself for a long and uncomfortable night of talking. Because Sirius Black, it seemed, __was__ a talker. And a confident one at that, a talker who seemed more than keen to get to the bottom of whatever Remus was worried about, making this situation into one that was completely and utterly unavoidable.

“But it’s not really okay, is it?” Remus said, fiddling with the cork of the firewhiskey bottle, not meeting Sirius’ eyes, “Because Merlin knows that the vast majority of people agree that I’m not human, which I’m not. Not really, anyways. And because of that things will always be shitty for me, and I can’t really escape that. But I shouldn’t drag you into this, it’s selfish.” He finished, finally looking at Sirius, seeing the determined fire behind the shorter boy’s eyes.

“For fuck’s sake Remus, you’re not human __one day__ every month. __I’m__ not human more often than you are, considering how often I change into Padfoot,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes and grabbing the bottle of firewhiskey from Remus, taking a swig before continuing, __“__ And honestly, you aren’t __dragging me along__ for anything, if you don’t believe me now, I really don’t know what else I can do to prove that to you.”

“That’s not the same and you know it, Pads. And no, maybe right now none of that seems like a real risk, because Hogwarts is basically separate from the rest of the world, but I don’t want you to grow to resent me when we get out into the real world and you realise just how shit it really is.” Remus ground out, really wishing he could be anywhere else, doing anything else.

“You really are selfish, Remus.” Sirius said, steely eyed. Remus flinched away from the anger in the other boy’s voice, not understanding where it had come from so suddenly. He felt his lungs constricting, the bathroom feeling smaller and smaller as he started to panic. __Sirius thinks you’re selfish.__ His mind whirred to every worst case scenario, __he was just saying all that to humour you, he doesn’t care, he could never love a monster like you.__ He stared at his hands intently, not willing to look at Sirius, but preparing himself for the inevitable hatred and disgust in the other boy’s eyes.

His whole body froze when he felt a pair of warm hands close around his own cold ones, Remus looked up, meeting the soft eyes of Sirius, frowning quizzically as he realised that all of the rage that was in them moments ago had disappeared.

“You’re selfish,” Sirius repeated, his voice much softer this time, “Because you aren’t letting me in. You’re assuming I’m just going to hate you just because things’ll be a bit difficult. But I won’t. I could never hate you, Remu. In case you’ve forgotten so soon I really, really like you.” Sirius smiled softly, wiping his thumb along Remus’ cheek, dying off a tear Remus didn’t even realise he had cried.

Remus blinked, taking in what Sirius had said. __He likes you. He really, really likes you. He’s not scared, he knows the truth, he-__ his thoughts were speeding through his head like tiny golden snitches. A small smile played along his lips as Sirius’ words sunk in further. __But you’re still a monster. A liar, a menace to society.__ A small voice in his head said.

“But I’m-” He began, before being cut off by Sirius raising a hand to silence him.

“Remus, you’re not a monster, I don’t know how else to prove that to you, but will you let me try?” Sirius said, his voice was soft and warm and Remus found it impossible to argue with him. He smiled, looking to Sirius before pressing his lips to his, far more softly than before. Their kiss was unlike any they had ever shared before. It was soft and loving, not hot and heavy, Sirius’ lips were warm, tasting faintly of firewhiskey, mixing with Remus’ own slightly smoky, chapped lips. Remus let out a soft, breathy moan as Sirius’ hands made their way into his hair, tugging gently. Sirius pulled away slowly, smiling up at Remus.

“Yeah,” Remus said, grinning more broadly than he had for weeks, “I think we can give this a try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is possibly the last chapter unless anybody wants me to write a prologue-type chapter. Let me know if you do. Writing this fic has been amazing, I've learned a lot and couldn't have even imagined the kind of great responses I've gotten from you all. Thank you for a great time <3


	14. Epilogue: Embarrassment and Butterbeers

“Merlin, would it kill the pair of you to use a silencing charm?” James’ head poked out from between his bed curtains, eyes heavy with lack of sleep and his hair sticking out at every angle, as per usual.

“I told you to just interrupt them, Prongs,” Peter said, yawning.

“Why didn’t __you__?” James threw back, snorting at the barely audible ‘I don’t wanna see that,’ Peter shot at him in response. “My point exactly, Wormie.”

Sirius and Remus were wide awake, tactically not moving from their spot in Remus’ bed. Sirius glanced up at Remus, matching the boy’s embarrassed grimace, his face was hot as the memories of the last night flooded back into his sleepy mind, tainted somewhat by the knowledge that his two best friends had heard the whole ordeal. The pair were comfortable, between their shared body heat and the cocoon of quilts and blankets, there was almost nothing that could rip the pair away from each other, except, it seemed, for loud friends who were more than willing to bask in their humiliation. He was torn, his mind flitting between arousal and embarrassment, deciding to act on neither, lest he be heard again, he instead resolved the continue to pretend to be asleep, hoping James and Peter would drop the subject and instead go to breakfast.

“You two had better be wearing clothes,” Was all the warning the pair received before the bed curtains were thrown open and they were met with the mischievously grinning faces of James and Peter. Sirius’ face warmed up more, likely turning an even more bright, Gryffindor red than it was already. He turned away from the grinning boys, burying his face into Remus’ chest and trying desperately to pretend he was anywhere else.

“Awe, aren’t they cute,” Peter cooed, holding his hands to his chest.

“Who’d’ve thunk they were having rampant sex just hours ago?” James added, cooing alongside Peter, breaking into laughter when Sirius and Remus groaned, Sirius’ face still buried in Remus’ chest.

“You aren’t escaping this that easily Pads,” Remus half groaned half laughed, “turn around and face this like a man. You don’t get to hide your face if I don’t.” Sirius sighed deeply, turning his face towards the two laughing boys above him.

“Ah! So the kinky bugger speaks!” James cheered, laughing harder as Remus’ face darkened more until the boy almost faded into the bedsheets. “D’you want __us__ to call you Sir too, or is that just for Sirius?” James mocked further, tears of laughter running down his face.

Remus groaned, covering his face with his hands, praying to every omnipotent force he could think of to open up the ground and swallow him whole. Next to him, Sirius’ embarrassment had transformed into self-deprecating laughter, he turned to Remus, giggling harder when the pair made eye contact.

“Merlin Prongs, we didn’t rib you this hard when you and Evans were shagging like rabbits,” Sirius laughed smugly when James’ face began to heat up, almost resembling his own. He grinned internally as he felt Remus relax as the attention was diverted away from him.

“We’re seventh years! We can do that now all we want!” James argued back, promptly ignoring Peter’s amused-sounding ‘well not __really__ ’. __“__ And __besides,__ you lot didn’t have to listen to it!”

“We heard it,” The two boys chorused, bursting into peals of laughter as James coughed and spluttered his way through barely coherent sentences.

“Oh Merlin,” He said through his hands, which had somehow made their way to his face, covering his shame. “Just- put some damn clothes on and come down for breakfast, I can’t tolerate this.” He turned away, storming back to his own bed and mock-huffing in the corner of the room.

“ _ _I__ didn’t hear him and Lily having-” Peter began, cut off by Sirius’ hand pressed against his mouth.

“That’s because __he__ used silencing charms. But we don’t have to tell him that,” Remus grinned while Sirius looked up at his boyfriend, face glowing with pride.

* * *

 

The Gryffindor common room was full to bursting, it seemed every student in the house had had the same idea of escaping the cold and snuggling up in front of the fires, moreso than ever after a mysterious well of butterbeer had appeared in the centre of the room. Nobody had owned up to placing the object, but everyone in the house could very easily guess who was responsible.

Remus, Sirius, Peter, James and Lily were sat, huddled together in the far corner of the room. Remus was sat on the old no-longer-red armchair that reminded him so strongly of Sirius’ lips, Sirius was sat on the floor in front of him, letting the werewolf play with his hair, willing to offer him any solace from the aches and pains from last night’s full moon. Lily and James were huddled together on a sofa that was far too small for them to fit on while Lily very slowly explained a potions question to Peter, who was sat on the floor, arms draped over the arm of the sofa, very visibly thinking - anyone watching would be almost able to see the cogs whirring in his brain.

The group were, for all intents and purposes, at complete peace, or as close to complete peace as a group of seventh years who were all (with the exception of Lily and Remus) atrociously behind on their homework. And as peace as a werewolf could be the day after the full moon. But aches, pains and staggering to do lists withal, the Marauders were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know this is cheezy buttttt I'm a stickler for happy endings, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading <3


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